Tuesday, June 12, 2007

The worst news the South has heard since... well...

Welcome to the South! Where the education value is historically low, and Winn-Dixie isn't just a grocery store! Ohhh I'm just kidding.. sorta. And if there's one thing that the South loves more than boiled peanuts (I implore you not to try them) it's racin'! Oh baby do they love their racin'. If you ever want to pick a fight with a Southern gentleman, make these three statements at a bar and see if you escape with anything less than two black eyes:

1. You know that Freebird song is a tad overrated.
2. Yeah, Freebird and Dale Earnhardt: Overrated.
3. I tell ya, if there's three things I hate in life it's Freebird, Earnhardt, and unions.

You might as well walk in there and say that your last name is Sherman. The second point is the one I want to focus on, the love of all things Earnhardt, including his racin' son Dale Jr. Lovingly referring to him as "Lil E", he holds the hopes of, well, pretty much the entire South when it comes to racin'.

Monday, this fanbase's world came crashing down, in a way that they never expected would happen. Dale Earnhardt Jr. annouced today that next year he would become a member of Hendrick Motorsports, making him a teammate of:

That's right! Jeff Gordon! Probably the worst enemy of Lil E fans, and most NASCAR fans in general. This is someone that has a song devoted to how gay he is because these people hate him so much. These are the main reasons, from what I can see that most of these racin' fans think hes gay:

1. His uniform is rainbow colors

2. He divorced his wife

3. He wins a shit ton of races.

To give all of you an idea who don't follow NASCAR how scarring this is to Lil E fans, this would be like Paul O'Neill coming out of retirement and joining the Boston Red Sox. Earnhardt Sr. and Jr. fans have expounded so much energy hating Gordon, that they now have to embrace him as a teammate of their favorite racer. Not only that, but along with Lil E and Gordon, this team (and don't kid yourself, NASCAR is becoming more and more of a team sport) also is adding defending Nextel Cup championship Jimmie Johnson. Hendrick motorsports is going to have some pretty impressive horses in the stable in 2008. The only question remains is that will Jr's fanbase embrace Gordon, or will they make the Eli Manning with a Chargers jersey face every time Gordon wins? At any rate, the South has caught a snag in that whole rising again movement.

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