Karma

Wisconsin, time to take a good, hard look at the man who ruined your season. His name is Ron Zook. Sure, a year from now we will all come to realize that the Zooker paid all of these athletes that beat your beloved Badgers today, but for now... I have been vindicated. The Sports Elitists have been vindicated. And, most importantly, Terry Hoeppner has exacted his revenge. Oh and by the way, his former team, the Indiana Hoosiers have as many losses as you do this year in the Big Ten. Being right kind of gets old, but when it's all you know... what else can you do? more...

TSE NFL Games of the Week

Well, first post in a while, and first post ever in the UP. Good to be back. The air is a lot fresher up here, and thats because we are pushing for no more sulfide mining. Billboards all across the UP state that Wisconsin has stopped doing it, we should too. Which I guess is a nice way of saying, "Good Lord, if Wisconsin can manage to do it, why can't we?" I'll leave it at that.

Aaaaanyway, moving on. The NFL is kicking off this week, and as always there are a slew of games that the powers that be at the League office and national networks every week think are more important than others. Naturally, they are right, and these games are more important than the others. Let's take a look:

Thursday Night: New Orleans v. Indianapolis

The Meddling Parents Bowl

Sure, on the surface this matchup looks like the Super Bowl champs hosting a team that fell a game short of making this a Super Bowl rematch. I urge all of you to look a little deeper. Take a look at the starting quarterbacks, for instance.

Peyton Manning is a good southern boy, raised to respect his elders. One of the biggest parts of respecting your elders is, of course, to keep the paychecks coming in to your daddy for as long as you can. Peyton loves his daddy, and will do anything to keep him relevant. Sportscenter commercials, week-long footballing camps, whatever Archie wants to do, Peyton can make it happen.

Now if that ain't the dag-gum cutest picture you've ever seen. Don't know what in tarnation could be. A ding-dang-do.

Conversley, Drew Brees hates his mother and would rather she just leave him alone.

Drew was none too happy that his mother was using his likeness in campaign ads. Now, would a good Southern boy like Peyton have done that to his Mommy if she were running for the 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals in Texas. No rootin'-tootin' way.

Which quarterback will prevail? The Daddy's boy or the Mom hater? NBC has all the action Thursday night.

Sunday Night: New York at Dallas

The Hardass Bowl

A match-up of divisional foes is just masking the real reason people should tune in. Now that Bill Parcells is out of the division, Tom Coughlin will be attempting to assert himself as the Hard-Ass coach of the division. This is definitely a high honor in the NFC East, considering that the likes of Tom Landry, Bill Parcells (twice), Barry Switzer (carrying a gun into an airport cemented his place) and Ray Rhodes has held this lofty honor. Wade Phillips is the newcomer, and the most direct threat .

Learning from the master. Coughlin has a tough road to hoe, but the news today that he got Tiki Barber to retire is only helping his cause.

Why are the other two coaches in the division not in the running? Well, the head coach fo the Redskins is a nice elderly gentleman, who likes to play with cars in his spare time. And all of the badassery in the Andy Reid bloodline apparently skipped a generation.

Grizzled veterans behind the mic. But only one can be the NFC East badass. Sunday Night on NBC.

Monday Night: Baltimore at Cincinnati

The Incarcerated v. The Acquitted

On the surface, a great matchup of two teams in what many regard as the hardest division in football, the AFC North. But, this in fact will prove once and for all: is a team better when they have players arrested for minor brushes with the law, such as selling alcohol to minors, or is the superior team one where the best player might have had a hand in murdering another human being, a much loftier charge, but was found innocent by a jury of his peers that may or may not have been assembled by Gene Upshaw? It's just a shame that Eric Steinbach isn't back with the Bengals this year. He was arrested last year after getting a DUI on a boat. Ray Lewis gets three of those in the inner harbor before breakfast.

Who will win-- petty criminals or pretty lucky streetwalkers? Monday Night Football on ESPN.

Monday Night: Arizona v. San Fransisco

The Beefcake Bowl

One could see this as a battle between up-and-coming teams in the up-and-coming NFC West. Really, the focus is on the two extremely dreamy quarterbacks who are really just trying to stay in the conversation until Brady Quinn makes his first start.

I do declare. Both crushingly pensive, yet ruggedly masculine. The early line goes to Smith with his positively inviting baby blues.

One dated Paris, one probably will in a few weeks. Can they not be hot for 60 minutes? Monday Night Football on ESPN!

There you have it. The real reasons these games will be featured this weekend. The best part about this article is that it guarantees that I will never be writing about the Browns all season. Fantastic.

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¿Dónde estan Los Sports Elitists?

We're still here.  Don't worry.  JTBI is in Michigan, Seaward is down in Kentucky, and I'm kicking it in Oxford, Ohio.  We'll be back up when we all are settled and I stop taking naps in lieu of studying for Spanish.  So get ready. more...

The Something After on TSE - 7.17.2007

I am not against scratching my own back or the back of another when the situation merits. And here at TSE, all of us are at our best when we're complementing ourselves. Which is why I am going to take this post to congratulate (or h/t, to use the parlance of the blogosphere) JTBI, wait, scratch that, Jed DeMuesy (the strapping young gent pictured above, in the center) who last night became the newest member of the world of sports media. That's right, friends, only two months out of college and he's the Sports Director up in Marquette, Michigan. Whether or not he'll have time to be a Sports Elitist is still in the air, so enjoy him here while you can. Lord knows Seaward and I will.

Anyway, for the readers and for JTBI, I think we would all do well to learn about the wondrous city of Marquette, Michigan. Some fun facts:

- Marquette was founded originally by Amos Harlow, who originally named the city Worchester, after the city of the same name in Massachusetts. COOL!!

- The Marquette General Hospital serves most of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. NEAT!
(GoCM: wait, this is in the fucking Upper Peninsula?)

- On the sports side of things, Marquette is the site of the world's second largest man-made dome, the Superior Dome, named both for the lake and it's vast size*. SPIFFY!!!

- Marquette is home to the GLIAC (Great Lakes Intercollegiate Athletic Conference) powerhouse Northern Michigan University. WILDCAT-TASTIC**!

- Robert Tarver's immortal 1958 classic*, "Anatomy of a Murder" is set in Marquette, Michigan. AWESOME!!

- Marquette is also 308 miles away from all the JTBI-haters in Madison, Wisconsin. FUN!!!

As you can see, JTBI will be bringing the noise to a place in desperate need of it.* Congratulations to the man, the myth and the legend from the rest of us at TSE.

*probably
**I am heretofore trademarking this phrase. JTBI - you may use this during newscasts for a nominal (read: large) royalty fee. You're welcome. more...

How to save the NHL in one simple step

So, the NHL has decided to have a game outside, at Ralph Wilson Stadium (home of the Buffalo Bills) matching the Pittsburgh Penguins against the Buffalo Sabres. This is one of the many attempts to make the NHL relevant again after sitting out a whole season a few years ago, and it will fail too. Nevermind the fact that this game will be on New Year's Day, a day always reserved for college football Bowl games, that will refuse to take a backseat to the NHL. The ratings will be nothing, the sport will not be any better than it was going into the day. There will not be one move or PR stunt that finally vaults the NHL back to where they think they once were, just not happening. There is one thing that could make the NHL better, as far as reaching out to fans that could care less about what transpires in their sport, like me:

Change when you play the season.

Currently, the NHL runs opposite of the NFL, NBA, College Football, Baseball's Opening Day AND World Series, College Basketball, the "Race for the Cup" AND the Daytona 500 portions of the NASCAR season. NO other sport runs up against more, and no other sport can ill afford to run up against more. This is basically like FOX running American Idol, NBC running Heroes, CBS running CSI, and ABC deciding to air "A Very Special" According to Jim. Right now, the NHL regular season runs from October to April, all they would have to do is flip it. Start the season in April, end it in October, with the playoffs running until mid- November. So, instead of having the dog days of your season attempting to share focus with the BCS, NFL Playoffs, Superbowl, the Final Four, and Opening day (an absolute BRUTAL stretch) they now will have their dog days coinciding with Major League Baseball's.

If I were the NHL, I would much rather go against MLB rather than the NFL. This should be obvious as to why, but I'll say it anyway. Three of the biggest selling points of Hockey is physicality, speed, and precision, which are three things you can also find in the NFL. In fact, I have had a few arguements with Hockey nuts as to what is a harder sport to play: the NFL or NHL. The problem is, that this point is moot because there is NO WAY, even if you could get sports fans to admit that hockey is more physical, fast, and precise, that NFL fans would then abandon thier sport and watch hockey. The NHL is trying to compete with the biggest fanbase among pro sports at the same time, with the same selling points. It just will not work. There are a great many football fans (and sports fans in general) that don't like baseball because the game is too slow. Wouldn't the NHL be a viable option at this point for those fans?

I have been accused of unfairly bashing the NHL because I don't understand the good aspects of the sport. I don't, and one of the main reasons why I don't is because I don't watch it. The main reason I don't watch it is because there is always some other sport I'd rather watch. Take tonight for example. Tonight would be the PERFECT night to air the NHL All-Star Game, or have a game outside, or do something else that can draw attention to the game. Hey, there's a reason that NASCAR has jumped the NHL as the fourth sport in the "Big Four" triumvrate. The Daytona 500, the Super Bowl of NASCAR runs a few weeks after the actual Super Bowl, before march madness. The NHL doesn't need a radical new strategy to attract fans, they just need a new calendar.

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Victor Martinez was robbed, and nobody seems to care

We live in a day where nothing is ever good enough anymore. Spurs win four championships since 1999, still many question their viability as a dynasty. A-Rod goes for 30 and 86 in the first half, and the city of New York still doesn't care if he leaves at the end of the month. Kelly Slater wins 8 surfing trophies and is bounced in the first round of Who's Now. As of July 10,2007, you can now add: hitting a game winning home run in the All-Star game no longer means you are the MVP. It happened last night, Victor Martinez came up and knocked a pinch hit homer to left, giving the American League (what turned out to be) the winning run to keep the AL winning streak alive. Then, because Ichiro hit an in the park homer, he won the award, even though without Victor's home run, he isn't the MVP. Ichiro Suzuki is driving Victor Martinez's Chevy Tahoe hybrid, plain and simple. In case you think I'm out of my mind, let's take a look at the last few AS MVP award winners in games decided by two runs or less, and how they won their award.

2006, Michael Young. Hit the game winning two-run triple in top of the ninth, AL wins 3-2.

2003, Garrett Anderson. Hit a two run homer, Melvin Mora scored after pinch-running for Anderson, even though Hank Blalock hit game winning two run homer in bottom of the 8th. AL wins 7-6

1997, Sandy Alomar Jr. Hits game winning two-run homer in the bottom of the seventh. AL wins 3-1.

1995, Jeff Conine. Hits game winning solo home run in the top of the eighth. NL wins 3-2.

1994, Fred McGriff. Hits game tying two-run homer in bottom of the ninth to extend the game. NL wins in bottom of the 10th, 8-7.

1991, Cal Ripken Jr. Hits game winning three-run homer in bottom bottom of the third, makes the score 3-1. AL goes on to win 4-2.

1990, Julio Franco. Hits game winning two-run double in top of the seventh, AL wins 2-0.

1989, Bo Jackson. Homers, and hits into fielder's choice which scores a run, even though Harold Baines hit game winning single in bottom of the third.

1988, Terry Steinbach. Hits homer and game winning sac fly. AL wins 2-1.

1987, Rock Raines. Hits game winning triple in top of the thirteenth. NL wins, 2-0.

That's enough, you get the idea. In the two instances since 1987 in which the person responsible for winning the game was denied the MVP award (Blalock and Baines) lost out two more popular, better known players (Anderson and Jackson).

This is exactly what happened in the 2007 All-Star game. The global icon (Ichiro) beat out the person responsible for the win (Martinez). If you're Victor Martinez, you have to be wondering what you have to do to earn some respect. The Seward pointed out that his numbers were much better than I-Rod's, yet I-Rod got the start. Then, he loses out in the MVP award to a more popular player. Not fair. Ichiro did hit that inside-the-park home run and that was fun to watch, but if Griffey plays that ball correctly, it is a triple at best. Ichiro is nothing in last night's game without Griffey's misplay in right. Everyone is talking about the Pujols snub, when poor Victor was snubbed twice, both worse than what happened to Pujols. I'm so bitter about this situation, so bitter.

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Who's Now in a good way, besides Barry Bonds.

Here's the problem with "Who's Now." I know, I know, all of you love it so much, because over 140,000 of you voted Peyton Manning more Now over Amanda Beard. But, unfortunately, there is a problem. It's not Who's Now, it's really What's Now. What is Now? For example if, your boss told you that he needed the report now, would you give it to him 32 days from when he required it? That is what ESPN is doing. It's hard to figure out who is Now when you're taking a month to do it. What if in a months time Amanda Beard signed a 10-day deal with the Yankees in which she batted .346 with 10 home runs and 25 rbi's. That would be pretty damn Now, way more now than Peyton Manning, who is currently doing nothing right Now.

Looking at the bigger picture, Peyton Manning is the opposite of Now. He will never be Now. As with some other people on the list, like Tiger Woods, or Tom Brady to name a few. There's a certain level of accomplishment that transcends Now. Now implies to me that this person is in the spotlight at this current moment for whatever reason, but will someday fade. Some sports figures will always be on our mind, just because they deserve to be. Now is not relevant to certain people, because anything they do will make them now. If Michael Jordan did something today, he would be in the news, because he is always Now, beyond Now.

Now, that being said, being Now according to ESPN just means being the most popular athlete. If ESPN really wanted to make this interesting, they would promise to devote coverage accordingly to the place in which these people finish. So, if Brady beats out Manning, you will get 5 minutes of Tom Brady coverage for every three minutes of Peyton Manning coverage. After all, he is Now, right? Since he's Now, I want to hear more about him. Peyton Manning should have been more Now, now, he's just not as Now as Brady, and he's going to have to live with it until ESPN wants to fill some time with a popularity contest.

And who does ESPN think they are kidding putting Barry Bonds as a five seed? Is there ANYONE more deserving of the Now title than him? He is the only person to my knowledge that has a team of ESPN reporters (led by Pedro Gomez), the only person who's at bats are always listed on the bottom line, the only person who's upcoming pitching matchups are shown after every highlight of the game he just finished.

Here's another thing about Now that chaps my ass. It should be called Who's Now in a good way. I don't care what you say, Michael Vick should be in the final four of Who's Now right now. Name me the last NFL QB that is at a crossroads in his career, attempting to prove to the whole world he can still play, while trying to combat an illegal dog-fighting federal indictment? Oh, but he can't be Now because that isn't a good reason to be Now. In fact, as I traveled to Page 2 yo research Who's Now, here were the top headlines that appeared on that page:

ESPN Top Headlines
Sources: Vick unlikely to be indicted in feds' probe
Sources: Pistons, Billups agree to multi-year deal
Tour de France starts with prologue in London
Griffey, Reds go deep in win over D-backs
Morneau hits 3 HRs, Twins sweep ChiSox

None are even up for being Now. There is no Now on this list to my knowledge. You know why? Neither do I, because these people and stories, according to ESPN, are Now. It is ESPN's responsibility to bring us Now, that's the idea of Sportscenter. I want to see what is going on...NOW. One single athlete is never Now, because Now is always moving, transitioning, rising and falling. Something could happen Now and make someone more Now than we ever could have known. That is the beauty of sport, that is the beauty of the unknown. This is just a popularity contest.

Sorry to burst your bubble. I'll go Now.

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2007 BCS Conference Team Preview: West Virginia

As part of TSE's Countdown to College Football, TSE regular Joe Table Blew It will preview all of the BCS conference teams: The Big XII, Big 10, ACC, SEC, Big East, Pac-10, and Notre Dame. This post focuses on West Virginia University, who will attempt to overcome the underdogs and make it back to the BCS.

The Mountaineers were riding high coming in to the 2006 college football season. They had just come off an amazing BCS victory over Georgia, and were entering the second year of the Pat White/ Steve Slaton era in Morgantown. The 2006 season though was a bit of a disappointment. Losses to an injured Louisville team and a surprise loss to South Florida at home put the 'Neers title hopes on hold for another year. Can the third year of the one-two punch jab their way to New Orleans?

Offense

There's no question that quarterback Patrick White has an immense amount of talent. Last year, he combined for close to 3,000 all-purpose yards and 31 touchdowns. The question this year is can he become more of a traditional quarterback? Rich Rodriguez has him in the spread offense, which should provide him with a host of receivers running anywhere from 5 to 25 yard routs. White will have plenty of opportunities to showcase his arm strength, and, to take this team to the next level, he has to. Steve Slaton will be more than capable of handling the load at running back, as he proved last year with his 1800 yard performance, virtually splitting the carries with White. These two have the opportunity to be front and center at the Downtown Athletic Club if they can manage to share the stage effectively. Darius Reynaud returns as the leading wideout on a team that needs some help from it's receivers. If White is going to throw more, which he can, he needs more of his wideouts to run better routes on a more consistent basis. Look, West Virginia can very easily run four wide at any time, and did last year, but part of the problem as to why White didn't throw it was sloppy rout running. White completed his passes last year at a 65% clip. His confidence from playing another year combined with the concentration of his receivers could make this a dangerous--balanced-- offense. The offensive line must recover from the loss of position coach Rick Trickett who departed for Florida State this year. Trickett was an amazing coach that made you hate him during practice, but was always focused on getting the absolute best out of you. I experienced his teaching first-hand for a week when my high school team went to WVA football camp in 2001. Coach Trick is old school, and will be missed in Mountain country.

Defense

The benefit of playing a 3-3-5 odd stack as your base is that most teams still don't know how to defend it. The setback? You need 5 quality defensive backs every season to pull it off. WVA has had mixed success with this formation that relies heavily on the roving corner, who sometimes plays like an outside linebacker. The front six can be as good as they want (they aren't very) bout if the Mountaineer secondary gives up 250 yards a game through the air as they did last year, it could be another season of disappointment in Morgantown. Fifth year senior Eric Wicks is the only model of consistency in the secondary, and could be the undoing of an otherwise talented team.

Prognosis

If someone can get this team to play some D, Slaton and White should take this team the rest of the way. West Virginia has once again scheduled nobody outside of their conference this year so, once again, the Big East is their conference to lose. The best this team can do though is win their conference, they really have no business playing with the big boys, especially this year. Expect the 'Neers to make a BCS Bowl, but not the Big One.

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2007 BCS Conference Team Preview: USC

As part of TSE's Countdown to College Football, TSE regular Joe Table Blew It will preview all of the BCS conference teams: The Big XII, Big 10, ACC, SEC, Big East, Pac-10, and Notre Dame. This post focuses on the University of Southern California, and their attempt to solidify their place as the college football dynasty of the 2000's.

It is hard to imagine that a school that has produced two national championships, five straight PAC-10 titles, three Heisman trophy winners and countless numbers of NFL stars could be looking at their best team in a decade. Believe it or not, but the Trojans are ready to prove that it is true.

Offense

Quarterback John David Booty is ready to go to another level. His level last year was completing 61% of his passes, and trowing for 29 touchdowns with only nine interceptions. At any other school in 50 years, they would have a statue out in front of the stadium for that kind of performance, but at USC, it isn't even good enough to make him the second best quarterback in the past decade. He must win the Heisman this year to be considered in the same light as Carson Palmer and Matt Leinart, and he has an amazing chance to do so. Just look at the talent he has surrounding him. Here's the deal: USC is 10 deep at running back. 10 deep. One-zero. The number 8 and 9 running backs on this depth chart are Joe McKnight and Marc Tyler, the two best running backs in last years High School class, Tyler the former teammate of Notre Dame prized recruit Jimmy Clausen at Oaks Christian HS in California. Let's just say Clausen has a better chance to see the field this year than his former teammate. If there is weakness to this offense, it is the wide receiver position, where junior Patrick Turner and sophomore Vidal Hazelton attempt to replace Dwayne Jarrett and Steve Smith. To be honest, the Trojans could have Vidal Sassoon lined up at split end and I would trust that he would catch at least 40 balls. Big tight end Fred Davis returns at the teams leading receiver, hoping to improve on his 10 yard receiving average from last year. The O-Line is solid, with All-American Sam Baker leading the front five. The main reason this line is so good is because the skill players at USC are so fast, that sustaining their blocks is something that is easier for them to do than throwing down three double cheeseburgers.

Defense

It is hard to describe how good this defense will be this year. First of all, it only loses one starter (Dallas Sartz) from a defense that played pretty tough last year, despite injuries that decimated their secondary. The d-line returns in tact, and has a chance to boast three first team All-Americans. Lawrence Jackson, Sedrick Ellis, and Fili Moalahave a reputation of punshing the quarterback, knowing that they have a lot of help behind them in case they can't get to him. Well, they can. The pair of Ellis and Jackson have a combined 20 sacks in their career, a stat that might get overlooked, except by opposing quarterbacks. The Trojan linebackers are even better. The best unit in the country features Brian Cushing, moving back to his natural position taking over for the departed Sartz, Ray Maualuga, and Keith Rivers. Never before has a front seven of any team ever had such talet at every position. In fact, take your favorite college football team's front seven from the past 10 years, and mix and match the players to make the best front seven. You take them, I'll take the 2007 Trojans. The secondary is finally healthy, and if any quarterbacks do happen to get off a pass, they will be there to defend it. This is probably the fastest secondary this side of LSU, but definitely the most bettle tested in the country. This defense has a very realistic chance to go down as the best ever in college football.

Prognosis

It's hard for me to predict that USC will not win the National CHampionship, so I won't. The PAC-10 is better this year than it was last, but USC is just an absolute giant this year in the PAC-10, and in the landscape of college football in general. The two non-conference road tests will come against Nebraska and Notre Dame, but don't expect either of these games to be within 20 points. USC will win the National Championship this year, and if they don't--well--it could be the end of the magic in SoCal.

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2007 BCS Conference Team Preview: Ohio State

As part of TSE's Countdown to College Football, TSE regular Joe Table Blew It will preview all of the BCS conference teams: The Big XII, Big 10, ACC, SEC, Big East, Pac-10, and Notre Dame. This post focuses on Ohio State University, and their attempt to win three straight Big 10 Championships.

The big question last year in Columbus was could Ohio State replace their vaunted defense from 2005? That question was quickly and often answered, as the defense was a big reason why the Buckeyes were competing for a National Championship last January. The question this year? Can Ohio State replace their vaunted offense from 2006? If they can, they could be looking at another trip to the biggest BCS Bowl. That is a huge if.

Offense

Quarterback is as good of a place to start as any, as Todd Boeckman, after waiting patiently for four years, finally gets his crack at running Jim Tressel's offense. Boeckman threw a total of three passes last year, and he will be responsible not only for replacing a Heisman Trophy winner, but effectively managing a slower, more methodical, more Tressel style of offense. He will be handing the ball off to a duo of Wells, the starter being Chris "Beanie" Wells. This kid is much bigger than the man he is replacing (Antonio Pittman), and is not afraid to take a hit. The Buckeyes will have a pro-style running game when they employ Maurice Wells to do some outside rushing and pass catching. These two backs should provide a nice backfield attack for a quarterback who could benefit from reliable pass catchers and down field runners behind him. The receiving corps lost three of its men from last year to the NFL draft, two of them going in the first round. What remains is Brian Robiskie, who thrived being the third option last year for Ohio State, but can he bring that same playmaking ability to the number one split end position? Sophomore Ray Small will take over at flanker, but the real gem of this group could be Rory Nichol, the tight end. Boekman will not employ the natural arm strength and instinct that Troy Smith had, which could mean a lot of checks on his progression. This translates for a lot of catches for the tight end. Can Nichol step up? The offensive line is the one unit on this offense that should be pretty stable, as Alex Boone, Kirk Barton, and Steve Rehring return to a stout (save the Florida game) offensive line. All three of these guys are over 300 pounds, and at least 6'6". Wow. Boone and Barton have a shot at being first team All-Americans, and they make up the best bookend tackles in the NCAA this year.

Defense

The question mark of 2006 has straightened into an exclamation point in 2007. Leading tackler and interceptor James Laurinaitis was the well deserved winner of the Nagurski award, and should have no problem leading the Buckeye linebackers once again. Another All-American candidate is on the defensive line, as Vernon Gholston looks to improve on his 8.5 sacks last season without his partner in crime, the departed Quinn Pitcock. The secondary also features an All-American candidate in Malcolm Jenkins, the junior that had 4 picks last year. He should be solid, the real question is can another Glenville stand out, Jemario O'Neal can be a playmaking saftey, in the great tradition of defensive secondary stars at Ohio State. Another newcome to keep an eye on is Larry Grant. He is replacing John Kerr, and turned some serious heads in OSU's spring game this year.

Prognosis

Ohio State could not have picked a worse year for a semi-rebuliding year, because the Big Ten is loaded. However, there seems to be no such thing as a rebuilding year in Columbus anymore , just a reversion to the famed "Tressel ball" where the offense will simply try to control the ball and avoid mistakes. One thing is for certain: the Buckeyes defense will keep them in every game this year. Another benefit to the Bucks this year is that they should have a pretty easy road all the way through to the last week of October. Then, the heavy lifting begins. At Penn State, Wisconsin at home, Illinois (who gave the Bucks all they wanted last year), and then up to Ann Arbor to face the Wolves. On paper, PSU, Wisco, and Michigan seemingly have better teams than OSU, but no team is better coached, and I predict that no team is hungrier. This team is creepily similar to the 2002 team, and all of the pundits will regret ranking this team fourth in the Big Ten. They may not win the Big Ten title this year, but I wouldn't bet against Jim Tressel in the Big Ten, either.

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2007 BCS Conference Team Preview: Florida

As part of TSE's Countdown to College Football, TSE regular Joe Table Blew It will preview all of the BCS conference teams: The Big XII, Big 10, ACC, SEC, Big East, Pac-10, and Notre Dame. This post focuses on The University of Florida, and their attempt to repeat as National Champions.

Florida really knew the right way to celebrate their 100th season of playing football: they beat the unbeatable Ohio State Buckeyes 41-14 to win their second National Championship in school history. The win came as a huge surprise to the majority of college football, but not to the Gainesville faithful, who believed that Urban Meyer would deliver, and deliver he did. Now, what can he give the Swamp for an encore?

Offense

The Gators will have to start their repeat bid by replacing the backfield--sort of. Part-time quarterback Tim Tebow, who was used exclusively last year in short yardage situations, will now be the full-time starter, replacing Chris Leak who is moving on to the NFL. Leading rusher DeShawn Wynn is also gone, leaving Tebow as not only the top returning passer, but rusher as well. Junior running back Kestahn Moore is slated to replace Wynn, and the junior is your typical Florida running back: undersized (5-10, 208). Replacing the receiving corps will also be another challenge to Meyer's spread offense, losing two of his three top gaining receivers from last year's squad, Dallas Baker and Jemalle Cornelius. The good thing about replacing these two guys is that in a perfect spread offense, the ball is evenly distributed to various receivers. Andre Caldwell, Percy Harvin, Louis Murphy, and the electric Jarred Fayson will be the ball-catchers this year, and should fit right in to the system Coach Meyer has perfected. There should be no questions on the offensive line, probably the strongest unit of this Florida offense. The unit is returning four out of five starters, with Senior Drew Miller switching from guard to center this year. Seniors Phil Trautwein, Carlton Medder, and Junior Jim Tartt join Miller as returning starters on Florida's stout O-Line.

Defense

This side of the ball will determine how good Florida can be this year. The biggest issue is right up front, where the Gators have to replace Troy Smith's favorite defensive end Jarvis Moss, along with three other starters. The linebackers are all new as well, as Earl Everett and Brandon Siler move on, sophomores Brandon Spikes and Dustin Doe will attempt to match their production of 50 tackles apiece. Probably the most difficult person to replace on this defense comes int he secondary. Reggie Nelson, the free safety who seemed to always be around the ball, will be the biggest position player that Florida will miss on either side of the ball this year. Nobody played the deep third better than he did in college football last year, and was one of the biggest reasons Florida was playing in the National Championship game. Senior Kyle Jackson has the unenviable task of replacing the prolific Nelson.

Prognosis

Even though Florida has to replace virtually all of their offensive and defensive playmakers, the Gators are the class of the SEC and have the potential to be that way for the foreseeable future. Urban Meyer's coaching is unmatched in one of the best coached conferences in college football. The true test of this team's will could be the back to back match ups against SEC West foes Auburn at home and LSU in the Bayou. With the SEC East being supremely less talented than Florida, these two games will be the best test of the revamped Gator offense and defense. I think Florida avenges their only 2006 loss by beating Auburn at home, but they lose to LSU on the road, and then again in the SEC Championship game. more...

NBA Draft from a man who lacks a favorite college basketball team, and a favorite NBA team who didn't have a pick in the entire thing. So, impartial.

Well, watched the first round of the NBA Draft with my good friend and fellow TSE blogger Paul Teeple, we chatted while we watched, and heres how it started:

Paul Teeple (7:34:44 PM): This is The Sports Elitists live blog for the 2007 NBA Draft

Paul Teeple (7:35:10 PM): I'm Paul Teeple who will be commenting on the ESPN broadcast of the draft along with Joe Table Blew It

-- Pretty GD official if you ask me. The first round started as predicted, as Greg Oden and Kevin Durant went one-two to the Blazers and Sonics, respectively. As Oden was drafted Mike Tirico, the host of tonight's proceedings on ESPN, reminded us of an obscure Oden fact morsel:

JTBI (7:38:44 PM): did you know Greg Oden shot free throws left-handed when his right wrist was injured?

Paul Teeple (7:38:49 PM): I had no idea.

--Then, the first big move of the night happened, Ray Allen to the Celtics for the fifth pick (Jeff Green), Delonte West and Wally World. Good trade for the Sonics, if Durant is ready and they resign Rashard Lewis. West gives them options if they choose to move Luke Ridnour, thaking over the role of, "person who lives on the trade block" from Jimmy Jackson.

--The third pick went as expected as well, Al Horford from Florida. This prompted the first of many Jay Bilas brain malfunctions:

JTBI(7:49:36 PM): "I think Al Horford is the most NBA ready right now"

JTBI (7:49:50 PM): thanks Jay, could have left it at NBA ready, we get it

Paul Teeple (7:50:01 PM): you're all about the economy of words
JTBI (7:50:20 PM): well think about it, does this make sense?
JTBI (7:50:38 PM): "I think Al Horford is the most NBA Ready in 7 years"
Paul Teeple (7:50:44 PM): fair point

--There's more from Jay Bilas, and I'm sure Teeple will touch on it as well.

Mike Conley Jr. of Ohio State goes to Memphis, as Teeple and I begin to notice the r-tard that is Joakim Noah:

Paul Teeple (7:52:22): Noah looks like Lisa Bonet from the Cosby Show... what happened to her?

JTBI (7:54:59 PM): wikipedia says... lisa bonet eloped with lenny kravitz on her 20th birthday

Paul Teeple(7:55:06 PM): there's no way that lasted
JTBI (7:55:21 PM): cosby didn't like it, kicked her off of her show and gave her a different world
JTBI (7:55:37 PM): divorced in '93

Paul Teeple (7:55:56 PM): then jasmine guy died and would up on showtime

OK, I'm already sick of managing this live blog, so this is all you get from me now, more tomorrow afternoon. Maybe then the Cavs will have signed some NDFA's

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詹姆斯國王

The title of this post roughly translates to "King James" in Mandarin Chinese. Lebron James recently confessed that he was studying the ancient language in preparation of the 2008 Olympics in Beijing. But the US team has to qualify first.

No, these are not your older brother's Dream Teams. Our boys have to qualify this Summer in the FIBA America's Tournament in July. Until very recently, James was unsure if he was going to play on the team, but now he has signed up completely, and will take the floor for Team USA next month, and--hopefully-- in Beijing. This is an important step for Lebron, who if he wants to solidify his status as the best player in the NBA, has to take advantage of every opportunity to prove it. In addition to that, Dwayne Wade will still remain apart of the team even though he is undergoing shoulder surgery this month, making it much harder for other superstars to turn their nose at International play. That being said, let's take a look as to who I think should be Team USA's starting lineup and bench based on commitments already received:

PG Chauncey Billups
SG Kobe Bryant
SF LeBron James
PF Carlos Boozer
C Amare Stoudemire

Bench:

PG Jason Kidd
PG Deron Williams
SG Mike Miller
SG Michael Redd
SF Tayshawn Prince
SF Kevin Durant
C Tyson Chandler
C Greg Oden

Pretty strong squad. It's nice to know that USA Basketball is back to figuring out that the key to any of these teams is strong play at the point guard position, and we have the point guards of Christmas past, present, and future in Kidd, Billups, and Williams on this team. If one of them doesn't play well, then there are two other guys that can step in and distribute to the prolific scorers that make up this team. It will also be one hell of a treat to see Durant and Oden play this summer, especially for those fans in Portland and Seattle-- a bit of a taste of what they can expect in the future. Coach K has a lot of promise on this team, and a lot of players who have shown their commitment to USA basketball, and are somewhat hungry to prove that the nation that invented the game is still the best at it. more...

An Open Invitation to Dave Heller

Dave,

Well, needless to say all of us here at TSE were so surprised and flattered to see that you took such interest in my article about Brett Bielema and how he was able to completely embarrass the late Terry Hoeppner last year in Bloomington. While I have no intention to back down from my position that Bielema unnecessarily hung it on Coach Hep, and that certain ramifications will certainly come to fruition, I would like to move past it.

My esteemed colleague Ghost of Carl Monday took you to task this morning, and boy did that make me laugh. Instead of going down that same hilarious road, I would like to issue a challenge to you, or any of the other people that have decided to viciously attack my opinion on this site.

I love criticism, I actually thrive on it. I love sports so much that I can't stand being wrong, and when I am, I love it when people call me on it. So, if you think I am so unintelligent, let's give you a chance once and for all to prove it, since we seem to be at a stalemate with this whole Bielema issue. Mr. Heller, let's you and I talk 2007 Big Ten football for a half hour or so, with the full transcript appearing here on TSE. It seems to me that you reply to opinions and rarely have a chance to formulate one of your own. Well, here's your chance. I eagerly await your response.

Cheers,

Jed DeMuesy
(Joe Table Blew It) more...

I Am Number One

Now that we're pretty sure Greg Oden will be going number one, the real question is: will he embarrass himself with the suit he wears? Yes, on the last day of his life where Oden will not have to worry about a NBA dress code violation, will he dress to impress, or look like a complete fool? To predict the future, we must look to the past, so I present to you the draft day garb of every number one since 1997. First up, the recent four time NBA Finals winner, Tim Duncan.

Not exactly flashy, but not memorable either. Although, Duncan wasn't looking to make a statement on draft day , he knew his job was to make it happen on the court. Turns out he was able to do just that, making this cream -colored suit look that much better. Next up, the Kandi Man.

Brown. He must've known he was going to be drafted by the Clippers, and they must have known that he was going to amount to a substance of the same color. The only guy who can pull off a brown suit is Stone Phillips. And the light blue shirt underneath tells me that he was excited to play for the Clippers. Nobody is excited to play for the Clippers. Next, the Dukie, Elton Brand.

Straight up Men's Warehouse. Probably because Coach K gave him a speech that went a little something like this, "I do not, nor does David Stern judge a man by the suit he wears. Think of yourself not as a number one draft pick who wears suits, but as a developing NBA superstar who just so happens to be the number one pick that wear suits. Your life will not be determined by the $100 suit you wear on draft night, because your card is American Express." Next up is Kenyon Martin.

Slick, unlike his game in recent years. The three button suit is to provide more support for his bum shoulder, which would soon allow him to very quickly fall out of favor with Jason Kidd. Kwame Brown's turn.

The first and last highlight of his career was this custom made guy that he wore as he walked across the stage. Jordan probably dressed him in these threads, and continued to support him financially throughout his career, until His Airness incorrectly split 8's at the Belaggio last year. Next is Lebron, skipping Yao Ming because he did not show up for the draft, much like he continues not to show up in the playoffs.

The definition of ballin'. There is nothing to say, but all Hail King James. Not many people can pull this kind of suit off, then again not many people can score 48 against the Pistons either. Now for the Magic's Dwight Howard.

This suit probably doesn't even fit him anymore, have you seen this kid recently?

Sweet Moses, what a freak. Andrew Bogut's chance to impress.

You can tell he's from Utah because he's wearing a polygamist suit... one button for every wife. What a nerd. Now a guy with some Italian threads, Andrea Bargnani.

Classic look, and since the jury is still out on this guy's game, I will reserve judgement and not mention that as soon as Stern saw him turn the corner, he reached in his pocket for his valet ticket.

So, now it is up to Oden to go flash or sit back and let his game do the talking. Whatever the case, I'll be watching just to make fun of the inevitable horrible suit that Spencer Hawes will be sporting.

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Celebrating one year of freedom

Well, I'm going to make my first real post under the new name mean something, that's for sure. About a year ago at this time, I was sitting watching a baseball game with a good buddy of mine, playing some caps, loving life. Across town, my girlfriend of 8 months was two timing me. With some dude who took 6 years to graduate college, is a hippie, and plays guitar, no less (doesn't it always happen that way?).

There are the people in question, now dating. To the left Lum Si, the right Ami Fa. Names have been shortened for the sake of relative anonymity, but not completely omitted so it shows up in search engines. Needless to say, when I heard of this the relationship got ugly and was ruined, not unlike Ami (seriously, GOCM, didn't she put on at least 20 pounds?)

Now almost one year, countless bad decisions, and even more countless amounts of alcohol later, I celebrate the greatest betrayal I've ever experienced by looking back on the top 5 greatest sports betrayals in recent memory.

5. Kobe throwing Shaq under the bus.

As I've touched on before, it was Kobe that needed Shaq to win his titles. Then, at the height of their legacy, Kobe decides it's time to force Jerry Buss's hand and demand that either Shaq or Kobe go. Shaq however got the better of the deal, getting shipped to the Miami Heat and winning an NBA Championship with Dwayne Wade, a better team player than Kobe could ever dream to be.

4. Jason Giambi joins the evil empire.

While there was more of a fiasco surrounding the Yankees' acquisition of A-Rod, the tattooed, goateed, anti-establishment Giambi went from chastising the practices of the Yankees one year, to using a Mach 3 Turbo every day the next. Jason has exactly zero wins and one grand jury investigation to show for his efforts.

3. Isiah Thomas and the CBA

Promising to turn around a struggling Canadian Basketball Association, Isiah Thomas makes bad decision after bad decision, until he eventually leads the league into bankruptcy, and then bolts to coach the Indiana Pacers. Thomas hasn't done much since, except lead a really talented Pacer team to nowhere, then effectively ruining one of the proudest sports franchises that exists, the New York Knicks.

2. Carlos Boozer swindles a blind man

In an effort to sign what was thought to be a long-term asset, the Cleveland Cavaliers and blind owner Gordon Gund allowed thrid year player Carlos Boozer to opt out of the final year of his 6 digit contract, in order to sign a more lucrative, long term deal to keep him in Cleveland to play with LeBron James for the forseeable future. The result? Boozer bolts to utah for more money, leaving Cleveland in the dust. He misse dout on the first Finals appearance in Cavs history.

1. TO throws the whole city of Philly under the bus.

After complaining about a lack of talent in San Fransisco and Baltimore, the Philadelphia Eagles bailed out Terrell Owens when they surrounded him with emmense talent in the city of brotherly love. What Owens proceeded to do was a little less than brotherly. Criticising primarily Donovan McNabb and Andy Reid, Owens quickly wore out his welcome in Philly, and then proceeded to have a breakdown of suicidal proportions in Big D.

Of course, the message is betrayal doesn't pay, but moving on to bigger and better things does. Well, maybe not bigger ( not kidding, at least 20-40 pounds).

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The New Name

I'm moving away from my real name, considering I probably shouldn't enter the state of Wisconsin anytime soon. I would hate to be hated in other states in our fine union, considering I plan on bashing at least Colorado and Montana in the next few weeks. The new name will reflect my ultimate sadness:Rejoice if you do not understand.

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I'm confused about the Drew Brees installment of the "My Wish" series.

Is some sick kid meeting him, or is there something we're going to find out about his mole tomorrow? If Drew Brees does get to do the meeting, my guess is his wish will be to meet Michelle Kwan and skate around with her on the ice while he wears a bicycle helmet. more...

One thing I've been wondering recently...

In response to Teeple's fantastic News and Views segment, I have just one question that has been bothering me recently, and it is adressed to the baseball broadcasters of America: how do you pronounce "Chavez?" I always thought this was cut and dry and you put emphasis on the first syllable (SHAAA-vez), but very recently, I have heard Marty Brenneman and Matt Underwood accentuate the second syllable (Sha-VEZ).

?

Does anyone have any insight? I thought this was pretty cut and dry until very recently, and now I am completely perplexed.

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Seriously guys, lay off Deadspin Part II

I remind you of a quote from the great Robert Montgomery Knight (by way of Charlie Sheen's character in Platoon):

When my time on earth is gone and my activities here are past, I want they bury me upside down, so the critics can kiss my ass.

Bang bang. No, but seriously the new layout sucks.

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