Thursday, June 28, 2007

I Am Number One

Now that we're pretty sure Greg Oden will be going number one, the real question is: will he embarrass himself with the suit he wears? Yes, on the last day of his life where Oden will not have to worry about a NBA dress code violation, will he dress to impress, or look like a complete fool? To predict the future, we must look to the past, so I present to you the draft day garb of every number one since 1997. First up, the recent four time NBA Finals winner, Tim Duncan.

Not exactly flashy, but not memorable either. Although, Duncan wasn't looking to make a statement on draft day , he knew his job was to make it happen on the court. Turns out he was able to do just that, making this cream -colored suit look that much better. Next up, the Kandi Man.

Brown. He must've known he was going to be drafted by the Clippers, and they must have known that he was going to amount to a substance of the same color. The only guy who can pull off a brown suit is Stone Phillips. And the light blue shirt underneath tells me that he was excited to play for the Clippers. Nobody is excited to play for the Clippers. Next, the Dukie, Elton Brand.

Straight up Men's Warehouse. Probably because Coach K gave him a speech that went a little something like this, "I do not, nor does David Stern judge a man by the suit he wears. Think of yourself not as a number one draft pick who wears suits, but as a developing NBA superstar who just so happens to be the number one pick that wear suits. Your life will not be determined by the $100 suit you wear on draft night, because your card is American Express." Next up is Kenyon Martin.
Slick, unlike his game in recent years. The three button suit is to provide more support for his bum shoulder, which would soon allow him to very quickly fall out of favor with Jason Kidd. Kwame Brown's turn.

The first and last highlight of his career was this custom made guy that he wore as he walked across the stage. Jordan probably dressed him in these threads, and continued to support him financially throughout his career, until His Airness incorrectly split 8's at the Belaggio last year. Next is Lebron, skipping Yao Ming because he did not show up for the draft, much like he continues not to show up in the playoffs.

The definition of ballin'. There is nothing to say, but all Hail King James. Not many people can pull this kind of suit off, then again not many people can score 48 against the Pistons either. Now for the Magic's Dwight Howard.

This suit probably doesn't even fit him anymore, have you seen this kid recently?
Sweet Moses, what a freak. Andrew Bogut's chance to impress.

You can tell he's from Utah because he's wearing a polygamist suit... one button for every wife. What a nerd. Now a guy with some Italian threads, Andrea Bargnani.
Classic look, and since the jury is still out on this guy's game, I will reserve judgement and not mention that as soon as Stern saw him turn the corner, he reached in his pocket for his valet ticket.

So, now it is up to Oden to go flash or sit back and let his game do the talking. Whatever the case, I'll be watching just to make fun of the inevitable horrible suit that Spencer Hawes will be sporting.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

nice blog
joakim was sharp!!

"The Business of Sports"