Whatever.

Sox in 6, Rox in 5

Sox/Rox on Fox...

This thing is predestined.

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It's Always Sunny on TSE -- The Seaward Picks the LCSes

Don't worry, this man has nothing to do with the League Championship Series

Let the ESPN stories about poor LCS ratings begin!

Right Brain: So, I was 100% right with my Division Series picks.
Left Brain: Er, no...
Right Brain: Sure I was.
Left Brain: Yeah, here's the thing--
Right Brain: Dude, I SAID my NLDS would be wrong.
Left Brain: OK, but you can't just make picks, announce you'll be wrong, then claim tha you were correct.
Right Brain: But I was right that'd I'd be wrong!
Left Brain: That's the worst sentence you've ever formed... and you've come up with some doozies.

So can I improve on my 0-5 mark in the NL playoffs in 2006 and 2007? Probably not. Two National League fan bases are glued to their screens right now, PRAYING that I don't pick their team. Here goes!

ALCS

Indians over Red Sox, 4 games to 0

Again, I won't explain this. Go to hell, chowds.

NLCS

Rockies over Diamondbacks, 4 games to 0

As soon as the Rockies lose their first game, they'll lose their next three after that. Unfortunately for the D-Backs, that won't be until they get the call-up from Quad-A to the majors to play in the World Series.

(Hahaha, Denver, you're fucked now!) more...

An Open Letter to Chip Caray

Shitty <---> Awesome

Dear Chip Caray,

You suck.

I never thought so before, but you are a genuinely horrendous broadcaster. I must have been blinded as an Indians fan who adopted the Chicago Cubs as his NL team. I must have been taken in by your homeristic coverage of the Lovable Losers through the 1990s. I must have given you a free pass because who your grandfather was (though curiously I never did the same for the awful broadcaster that is your father).

No more.

After your piss-poor showing in this season's American League Division Series I rescind everything good I ever said about you, Chip. Did somebody at TBS forget to tell you that the ALDS was also telecast outside of the New York television DMA? I can't think of another reason you so relentlessly ballwashed the Yankees all series long; you had to have been under the impression you had supplanted Jon Sterling for Pinstripe home broadcasts for a week. Surprising though it may be to hear, Chip, you were in the national booth for TBS for that series.

Unfortunately one would never know it by your complete lack of enthusiasm for anything positive for the Indians did (see: Trot Nixon home run in game 3) coupled with your over-the-top screaming whenever the Yankees did something positive (see: Johnny Damon's home run in game 3 that went to the exact same spot as Nixon's). The Cleveland Plain Dealer's website even went so far as to write about it, allowing commenters on their Indians blog to sound off on TBS' slanted coverage.

And it would be one thing if you had just been homering the Yankees. Any asshole can be an overt homer, just ask Hawk Harrelson about that. It's something entirely other to be so slanted in your coverage that you do not even do your homework on a team past their top two pitchers. You acted throughout the series as if an Indians player's name wasn't C.C. Sabathia or Fausto Carmona that he wasn't worth your time. And while YOU may never have heard of Asdrubal Cabrera, Rafael Perez or Jhonny Peralta, they were damned important pieces on this Indians squad in 2007, and REAL national baseball media members have known about them all year (or since August in Cabrera's case). And GOD FORBID Joe Borowski try and save a game against the MIGHTY Yankees! And, hey, in case you need 'em, the Indians tied for the best record in Major League Baseball this year--there's probably a good reason for that.

Since TBS has made the ill-advised decision to put your booth on the NLCS, Chip, let me save you a little time: Phoenix is TV DMA #12; Denver is TV DMA #18 (smaller than Cleveland!)--so go ahead and skip your prep on the Rockies.

Now, Chip, I see why the Cubs saw fit to fire your ass in a town where Ken frigging Harrelson has held a steady job for nearly 20 years. You are a second-rate version of your father and a disgrace to your grandfather's legacy. Please go away and never ever ever come back.

Yours Truly,

The Seaward more...

Karma

Wisconsin, time to take a good, hard look at the man who ruined your season. His name is Ron Zook. Sure, a year from now we will all come to realize that the Zooker paid all of these athletes that beat your beloved Badgers today, but for now... I have been vindicated. The Sports Elitists have been vindicated. And, most importantly, Terry Hoeppner has exacted his revenge. Oh and by the way, his former team, the Indiana Hoosiers have as many losses as you do this year in the Big Ten. Being right kind of gets old, but when it's all you know... what else can you do? more...

When We're Right, We're Right.

I can't stop laughing. Seriously. I've been [getting paid to] watch college football all day. And I've been re-reading some old posts here. Anyway, here's a headline on Si.com's college football page that pretty much sums up why I can't stop laughing:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Eat our fuck, Wisco. Suck our cock, Dave Heller. Fuck you in the pants, Brett Bielema. And have fun in the Crapital One Bowl, retards.

Oh, and here is the collection of links just to remind the public of how we were right and how all 12 people in Wisconsin that can "use" a computer were wrong.

http://sportselitists.blogspot.com/2007/06/brett-bielema-public-enemy-number-one.html

http://sportselitists.blogspot.com/2007/06/open-invitation-to-dave-heller.html

http://sportselitists.blogspot.com/2007/06/morning-after-on-tse-6282007.html

http://sportselitists.blogspot.com/2007/06/state-of-tse-stupidity-stops-here.html

http://sportselitists.blogspot.com/2007/06/ok-i-didnt-want-to-but-now-im-forced-to.html

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It's Always Sunny on TSE -- "The Gang Picks the Division Series"

The aviators mean I'm cool, right?

So here are my picks for the MLB Playoff Division Series. You may be asking yourself why I included a picture of myself in aviators with this post... the truth is, I don't know. Consider it an homage to the random photos on Free Darko or something. Anyway...

ALDS:

Red Sox over Angels, 3 games to 2

Idunno, something tells me this series is going the distance and Boston has the pitching depth here over the Halos. I will go ahead and root for the Angels, though, because Boston can kiss my ass.

Indians over Yankees, 3 games to 0

I am not going to justify this pick. The Yankees can all die of gonorrhea and rot in hell, for all I care. The less I have to see and hear from New York in October, the better.

NLDS:

Cubs over Diamondbacks, 3 games to 1

Remember-- the NL playoffs don't make any goddamn sense. That's where the Cubs come in.

Phillies over Rockies, 3 games to 2

The Rockies win the first two games on pure emotion and then get crushed by Philly in 3 straight. Todd Helton cries.

PLEASE NOTE: I was 0-fer on my NL playoff picks last year; feel free to wager LIBERALLY against any National League picks I've made. more...

MNF liveblog...sort of

I have Chad Johnson and the Pats kicker who isn't Adam Vinatieri against Carson Palmer and Wes Welker tonight. I was up 25 going into the game. And now, from the 2nd quarter.

Okay...here we go. Bungles on the 2. It's Kenny Watson time, baby! No Carson points, no problem. Wait, play action? They're passing from the 2? Who are they gonna throw to...

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!!

(GoCM: I still won. Eat a dick, uncle Tom. No, not that uncle Tom. Really, the guy I was playing was my uncle named Tom. But fuck the other one, too.)

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