Richard Shea, you are a ridiculous human being.
I know this is probably the dominion of Awful Announcing, but I just can't resist. Every year, I like to take in the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest on the Fourth of July. It's kinda silly to watch grown men feed their face on a sports-oriented television network... but it's kinda fun. BY FAR the best part of the competition is the booth. In this booth, Paul Page does the play-by-play for ESPN while Richard Shea does the color analysis. In case you're not one of those in-the-know competitive eating buffs, I should probably tell you that Shea is the president of the International Federation of Competitive Eating -- that's right, the league president is the analyst. As you can imagine, hilarity ensues. (Any YouTubes from today's competition would be GREAT if anyone can locate them)
|"Usually you have to pay double for that kind of action, Cotton."|
- "If Chestnut wins, tomorrow if you Google 'hero'... 'American hero,' you'll find Abraham Lincoln, possibly Neil Armstrong, Taylor Hicks... and of course this man, Joey Chestnut!"
- "It's like the Super Bowl and the World Series all rolled into one."
- "This might be the greatest moment in the history of American sport!"
You know what? I don't even feel like disputing Shea's charges. They are so awesomely ridiculous that I'm just laughing. I would've thought that maybe his analysis was the inspiration for the announcers so masterfully played by Gary Cole and Jason Bateman in Dodgeball, but I was surprised to find out that Dodgeball was released in June 2004, a few weeks before ESPN's first live telecast from Nathan's. So I guess not.
Nonetheless, on this Fourth of July, I say: Richard Shea, you are a great American.
Happy Fourth, kids. See you tomorrow!