The Morning After on TSE - 7.11.2007

Update: Aaron Rowand made the last out of the ballgame, and I forgot to analyze that. All told, I still think you give credit to the All-Stars who made the lineup and give them the chance, even if Pujols is available. Rowand is currently hitting at a higher clip than Hudson is and with more HRs, though Pujols could probably play CF more effectively (though there may be some issues covering the real estate at AT&T Park) than 2B.

Another "if and but", however, for if Rowand hits a single then we wouldn't be talking about this at all. But I realize the point and I thank commenter JPatterson89 for pointing this out, though his comment has since been deleted (not by me).

Welcome, friends, to what is widely regarded as the worst day in sports. With no baseball, football (arena or otherwise), basketball (of note) or hockey today, it's bound to be awfully slow around this and every other sports-related sector of the blogospheres. But the morning shouldn't be too bad because there was a pretty good All-Star Game (ASG, because I'm tired of writing out the full phrase) last night and it is worth writing about. So here we go.

What in the name of God was Tony La Russa thinking?

Here he is, manager of the National League All-Stars, there because his Cardinals won the previous year's World Series, with Albert Pujols, the guy who got him there, ready to bat with two gone and the bases juiced in the bottom of the ninth inning, down by a run. So what does La Russa do? In many estimations, he must have done what he did in spring training again, as Albert sat and Orlando Hudson popped to Alex Rios to end the game. Because of that, Albert isn't talking to Tony and Tony will be inundated with "why not" questions from here until the season's conclusion.

But I am willing to stand up in defense of the Cardinal skipper. Here are (with no apologies to ESPN Classic) the top 4 reasons you can't blame Tony La Russa for not bringing in Albert Pujols.

1. J.J was a Putz and K-Rod was more like BB-Rod.
The AL's choice for closers weren't exactly skilled marksmen in that final half-inning. Putz gave up the HR to Soriano on a badly hanging breaking ball and Rodriguez was doing triple salchows after each pitch. Anything hit in the immediate direction of the pitcher's mound would have either knocked off a turned-around K-Rod or simply zipped through the infield. But that would, of course, mean that K-Rod would have had to throw a hittable pitch, which was done very rarely.

2. Pujols was too valuable to use (almost).
Albert Pujols is a very powerful card to have in one's hand. He's like the left Bauer in a game of Euchre: if he's not played right, it can cost you the hand and maybe the game. Sure, Pujols could have come in and walked or hit a single to tie the game, which may have happened, but in such a case, that would mean Albert Pujols would have to come in on defense, as La Russa was out of reserves. And he probably would have had to play second base for Orlando Hudson. Unless Pujols were to win it with one swing, then putting him in might have been too costly in the next half-inning. And why should Tony La Russa care about the ASG? The Cards probably won't be taking advantage of that home field advantage that was up for grabs last night. In La Russa's mind, it was probably better to keep his star rested for the benefit of his team.

3. Give Orlando Hudson some love, folks (Aaron Rowand, too).
It's not like Orlando Hudson had to beg to make this squad or was given a spot based on ballot-stuffing fans (cough, Ivan Rodriguez, cough). He's batting a shade under .300 for his season and 20 of his 96 hits (21%) are doubles. He's knocked in 47 RBIs and has walked 47 times. In the field, he has 9 boots, but that's probably better on the average than Pujols at the same position. Bottom line: he's having a very good year for a good D'Backs team and saying that Pujols should have almost automatically been substituted for him doesn't give Hudson anywhere near the credit he deserves. If the substitution had to be made, Aaron Rowand is the more logical substitute.

4. Finally, Dad is (almost) always right.
The Old Man used to tell me, "if 'ifs' and 'buts' were candy and nuts, everyday would be Christmas". We'll never know what would have happened if La Russa had put in his star in the bottom of the ninth. He may have gone yard or he may have flied out to right. Fact of the matter is, La Russa did what he thought was right at the time. Whether or not the two will ever speak to one another again, that remains to be seen. more...

The 2007 Mid-Summer Classic...Live-Blogged for your Pleasure

Hello all, GoCM here and I'm going to be live-blogging as much of this game as I can, perhaps taking some breaks. I'll be updating after each half inning so keep your fingers on that F5 button. Some other TSEers may be joining in later.

The game is on Fox, and will be called by Joe Buck and Tim McCarver (oh joy).

Pregame

8:32 - Chris Isaac "singing" the National Anthem. If he's not singing "Wicked Games" then I'd just as soon not listen. This is awful.

8:34 - it's over. And sung so fast that the fly-by is about 30 seconds off pace. Lovely organizational job, San Fran.

8:35 - and now it's tribute time for the "say-hey" kid. He's getting a nice ovation from the fans and players, but this really pales in comparison to the 1999 tribute that Ted Williams got at Fenway. I hated the movie "Fever Pitch" but Fallon was right about the old men crying in the stands...and Mays throws a rope to Jose Reyes. Impressive. Sort of. This is touching and all but the Derby went 58 minutes long and it's getting close to 9pm on the East and we haven't seen a pitch yet. It's gonna be a long night.

8:41 - Patricia Heaton and Kelsey Grammar in a new series? When's it on because I need to set my TiVo never to go anywhere near Fox on that night. Frasier and Mrs. Raymond, two of my least favorite people perhaps ever in a series. Kill me now.

8:45 - And there's Joe Buck...and now the show is ruined by McCarver. I would love to quote and re-quote everything dumb he says but I can't type that fast. And now Fox throws it to........Eric Byrnes. In a Kayak. Kenny Mayne is laughing in his luxury jet. And it's another commercial. I should probably get used to this - the commercials, that is.

8:50 - And there's Ironman Cal Jr. reading the AL lineup. The NL is presented to us by the Wizard of Oz. Nice gimmick but I give the award for not fucking this up to Ozzie - Cal's commentary was kind of like his last 5 years during the streak: dragging everything down despite his best efforts. JTBI would probably agree.

Here We Go...

Top of the First

Ichiro steps up and and Jake Peavy looks in and fires ball one and we're underway. True to

form, Ichiro singles to right, bring up Derek Jeter (has AIDS). McCarver tells us that 17 people from Simms, Alabama are here to watch him. I'm guessing it's pretty much the entire population of that town. And similarly true to form, a Yankee grounds into a DP. My brother, Jon, a Yankee fan, is saying that Ichiro should have utilized a take-out slide so that Jeter wouldn't have a negative at-bat. My brother is an idiot. Papi is up (Jon: "he's on roids") and grounds to second, throw to first aaaaaaaaand...Prince Fielder boots it. That's almost embarrassing as pissing your bed in Acapulco. More than once. Buck jokes that Ortiz probably shouldn't laugh too hard, as he's likely to do the same exact thing. A-Rod steps in, hard grinder to David Wright, who forces Ortiz at second. Barry Lamar will bat second in the bottom.

Bottom of the First

Jose Reyes leads off and hits the first pitch he sees up the middle for a single. The San Francisco fans now get their blue balls drained because here comes Barry Bonds. And out of nowhere, Reyes steals second. What? it's the first inning of an exhibition and LaRussa calls for the steal. He better not drive home tonight. Bonds swings and pops up to Vlad in right. I get the feeling that it's all downhill from here. Carlos Beltran comes up and Ks on a 94 MPH fastball, bringing up Junior Griffey, who is having a hell of a year so far. Buck credits it to lack of really strange injuries. I'd half expect to hear that kind of gem out of McCarver. And Junior singles off the pitchers mound bringing in the speedy Reyes. Is it racist if I call him Speedy Gonzalez? I'll let history decide. David Wright comes up with two outs here in the first. Danny Harren is pitching well but has thrown a lot of pitches. Luckily for him, one more will end the inning as Wright grounds out. Inning over, NL leads 1-0.

Top of the Second

Great DHL commercial about Kenny Lofton's travels. He's made an endorsement deal out of his career of skipping around the majors. I liked it. Brad Penny relieves Peavy and he'll begin with Vlad Guerrero who breaks his bat while grounding awkwardly to third. He stepped back as he was swinging, too. This guy swings at everything...and I love it. Maglio Ordonez is up and slices a fly ball to Junior in right...two gone. Pudge up third this inning (Jon: Jorge should have started." Me: "shut up, Jon" get used to that one) and Pudge sends it over to Reyes. Inning over, NL still up 1-0.

Bottom of the Second

There's a schmuck dancing on a water trampoline. Only in San Fran (you can't do that in Pittsburgh, which also has a body of water in right due to the massive amounts of trash, bodies and dead cats floating in the Allegheny River. Trust me - I've seen all three). Prince Fielder walks to lead off and the AL is looking vulnerable for the first time in the last 9 years (it seems). Russel Martin, the starting catcher falls behind 0-2 and lines hard to A-Rod (sounds like a normal weekend...zinger). Chase Utley flies to Ichiro for the second out. Besides the Reyes at bat, Harren is looking great, getting outs and keeping the NL in check. He gets a strikeout and the inning is over, still 1-0 NL.

I'm going to take a break, but I'll be around with some highlights throughout...

Top of the Fifth

Jesus, this Eric Byrnes thing is getting mighty old. Byrnes says his dog is swimming toward the bacon, which means there must be a police boat in the area (zinger) And while they do that, Ichiro Suziki goes ahead and hits an inside-the-park home run. Ken Griffey, Jr. was caught by surprise by the bounce off the wall and Ichiro came in standing. That's the first inside-the-park job in All Star Game history, which is almost as impressive as Ichiro going 3-3 tonight with 2 RBIs and hits off of Peavy, Penny and Sheets, three of the best the NL has to offer. Looks like the Japanese star is taking home an American hybrid truck after this game. C.C. Sabathia replaces Josh Beckett, who was stellar in his two innings.

Top of the Ninth

A Victor Martinez 2-run shot in the 8th put the AL up by 3 runs as we head into what should be the final inning of this game. It's been reasonably exciting with the big blast by Martinez and Ichiro's inside-the-parker, and it's been really quick to say the least, as the pitching has been very good tonight. Trevor Hoffman is will be pitching the 9th for the NL. Carlos Guillen is out number one, grounding weakly to second. Brian Roberts follows suits for out number two. It looks to me like it's getting academic in San Francisco and with K-Rod warming for the home half of the ninth this All Star Game is heading for the books. Unless I'm completely wrong, which I wouldn't put past me. Jorge Posada doubles to center and the AL is in business again. Torii Hunter grounds to third, however and that will bring up the NL with three outs and three runs to score.

Bottom of the Ninth
J.J. Putz is in, actually, I'm guessing until a run scores when Leyland will have K-Rod and Fukijama at the ready. That's some good managing by Leyland. Putz begins his night by striking out Matt Holiday, who has been kicking ass in the big leagues as of late. Not so much tonight; he's 0-2. Bryan McCann, the Braves catcher who didn't think she should even be there stands in. McCarver has told us that the Braves are in second place in the NL East about 12 times tonight, informing us that they are "in second place", "2 games back of the first place Mets" and "2 games ahead of the third place Phillies". That guy's never met a point he didn't hammer into the ground with a shovel for 9 innings. Anyway, McCann pops out bringing up the last hope for the NL in the person of SteakGrowsOnDimitri Young. Putz is throwing hard to Young and Young is looking stupider than normal, but he legs out a deep infield single to second so the NL has a glimmer of hope left. Play is ruled a hit and I'll agree with that. Alfonso Soriano is up, still against Putz who should have been out of here by now but Brian Roberts couldn't handle what Dimitri Young threw at him.

Uh oh...

Soriano has just made it interesting hitting the piss out of a 2-2 fastball and putting it in the right field seats. 5-4 AL and Leyland looks like he could use a Marlboro or six. J.J. Hardy comes up now, in his first All Star Game with a big chance to be a star. Putz looks unaffected and is continuing to sling fireballs to Posada, topping out at 96 mph. K-rod is getting ready, the crowd is excited and Putz walks the tying run. Finally some intrigue. Imagine, had Roberts snagged that grounder. Here comes K-Rod with the tying run on and the winning run at the plate in the person of Derek Lee. I love K-Rod, this guy just throws and doesn't give a shit. Lee looks stupid after a 2-1 curve ball but works the count full. The runners are going. Here comes the pitch...Lee fouls it off his calf. We'll reset, then. full count, two outs, tying run going on the pitch, winning run at the plate...and Lee walks on a checked swing. This is getting very exciting now.

Interesting, with Albert Pujols available, LaRussa opts to use Orlando Hudson from the D'Backs. K-Rod is throwing bullets, but they're missing as he falls behind 2-0. Now 3-0. Now bases loaded on three consecutive AL pitching walks. Aaron Rowand comes up (no Albert?????) to face the jilted K-Rod with two down in the ninth. Finally K-Rod throws an early-count strike. And Rowand pops to right and that will do it. Great drama at the end but not enough. Why Pujols didn't get in is beyond me but the reactions will have to wait for tomorrow's TMA. I hope you enjoyed the live-blog and we'll see you tomorrow.

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The Morning After on - BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK!

So the Home Run Derby was last night in San Francisco, which means two things: first, the 2-hour time slot was, at best, wishful thinking (three freaking hours long!!!). And second, that Chris Berman, the smartest person in sports, gets to take center stage with his cliches, knowledge of local geography, nicknames and, of course, his now patented "BACK BACK BACK..." call for each and every home run. This annoys the shit out of me and the rest of the world, I'm sure, but it is comforting in a way that words can't describe. So, like everyone else I watched the derby last night and expected, considering the lineup, to hear the word "back" upwards of 250 times (literally). And, just like Seaward's last two girlfriends, I went to bed unfulfilled. My list of concerns with last night's event are as follows:

- We're coming off of pretty good years of HRDs (Home Run Derbies) with Ryan Howard and David Ortiz trading shots into the Allegheny River last year, Bobby Abreu's 41-dinger night and Miguel Tejada slugging 27 the year before that. This year's winner, the incomparable Vlad Guerrero didn't break 10 in any round and won with a score of three. Lame.

- The performance of the night was Alex Rios belting 16 in the second round (he finished with 27, but misplaced his good round, like so many have done in this competition's history) but we're talking about Alex Rios, not your typical home run golden boy, not yet anyway. Which brings me to my next point

- The golden boy performances everyone was waiting for were straight up duds. Defending champ Ryan Howard hit three, failing to get out of round one. Prince Fielder matched him and sat for rounds two and three. Even Albert Pujols had to go into a slugoff to clear round one against Justin Morneau just to make it past round 1. Golden boys? Hardly.

- About Pujols, one of the guys I was most excited to see, was basically preempted by an interview with Yankee man-boy Alex Rodriguez. This is the national league's premier player and instead of doing some commentary for his at bat, you do the next worse thing by interviewing a player on a sub-.500 team. Screw the fact that he's a Yankee, probably going to win the AL MVP and is having one of the best offensive seasons in recent history. This is a home run derby. Show the dingers, not the idiots in K-Mart suits at the podium.

The Home Run Derby has an interesting history and you can definitely tell when the juiced ball era officially began (Cal Ripken, Jr., of all people, won this thing in the early 90s, to give you a lay of the past home run land). In fact, there were consecutive years when Fielder's or Howard's 3 jackjobs would have won the thing. Now we're two years removed from a 41 home run performance. Either the players are just that much better at belting meatballs out of the bark or there's something in the water at MLB ballparks.

And I won't give The One With Whom Leather Was zero mentions, for he did have one of his worst cliches ever last night. On the topic of Colorado's Matt Holiday, Berman did say that if he were to win, it would certainly be a "National Holiday". It doesn't get any better/worse than that. The chicks love it, though.

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Baseball's Summer Blockbusters and Bombs Part 2

It is officially one of the two slowest sports days of the summer (Wednesday will be worse, promise), so let's take the time allotted by the sports gods to compare 2007 MLB teams by division to movies released this summer.

A.L. Central

1st place -- Detroit Tigers

Started way ahead of the curve thanks to their recent success and have built on it so far this year. Lots of big names in the lineup.

The Tigers are...



Shrek the Third


2nd place -- Cleveland Indians

You didn't hear much about this team before the season started but they have asserted themselves as a dark horse for the division since they hit the field. A solid cast of players even though you've only heard of a handful.

The Indians are...



Knocked Up
(this movie was freaking impossible to find a properly sized poster of)


3rd place -- Minnesota Twins

A franchise that has seen success through the better part of this entire decade. Sure they had a hiccup a couple years ago but they're back in their old form now. Unfortunately for them, there are just too many other teams that are much better than they are this year.

The Twins are...



Ocean's Thirteen


4th place -- Chicago White Sox

A franchise with a ton of squandered potential. You really hoped that they'd be able to build on the lessons they learned in their previous installment but instead this ship is taking on more water than ever. What good are all the big names when the end product is so mediocre?

The White Sox are...



Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer


5th place -- Kansas City Royals

A young cast, a shaky premise, a bad team.

The Royals are...


Nancy Drew

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I, for one, welcome our new AFL overlords

Seaward is right: this is an unbearable week for sports. No real baseball (even though the All Star Game "counts" now) until Thursday and no football for another 6 or 7 weeks. Yes, there is the WNBA but I'll cut off my balls with a rusty spoon before watching that. Yet in the midst of all of this boredom comes the lone beacon of home to get us to real football season.

The AFL, of course.

Through two weeks, things are heating up en route to ArenaBowl XXI. The Dallas Desperados were supposed to run roughshod through the playoffs and bring a title to the Metroplex with relative ease. But they forgot to ask Matt Nagy and the rest of the Columbus Destroyers what he thought about that little plan. That's right, just like last year, a 7-9 team is running rampant through these playoffs. The next two sentences are so incredible, so iconic, they get their own paragraph.

The Columbus Destroyers are one win from ArenaBowl XXI. They are two wins from bringing home Columbus's first professional sports title since the Columbus Quest made it rain in 1997-98.

So it's official: I'm jumping on the bandwagon. Sure, Columbus has their work cut out for them in the persons of the Georgia Force, who rumbled through the regular season at 14-2 and crushed the Philadelphia Soul by 26 yesterday. But Columbus put the hurt to Dallas, scoring 24 points to begin the second half. And if there's one thing that these playoffs have taught us so far, it's that the smaller field levels the scales. And if Matt Nagy, the wily AFL veteran who has methodically guided the Destroyers past better teams for two consecutive weeks can find a rhythm, then me and the rest of the Destroyer DieHards will be booking tickets to New Orleans for the big game in the very near future.

Now a lot of you may not care about the AFL's mutant brand of football. It isn't "Now" (though it is publicised and commercialized to death on the WWL) and it even falls behind the NHL in national popularity (probably). But for the uneducated (read: everyone) I can say from experience that there are a lot of similarities between the AFL and it's cooler, older brother with the car, the NFL. Some details:

- The playoffs are arranged in similar fashion: wild card round, divisional round, conference championships, league championships. There's even that incredibly annoying 2-week wait between games!

- Shitty teams can back into the playoffs and make a splash. The Chicago Rush limped in at 7-9 and won four straight road games last year to win the ArenaBowl title. The Steelers of the NFL did the same thing just weeks earlier in Super Bowl XL.

- Defense? The AFL don't need no stinkin' defense. Last year's ArenaBowl had a final score of 69 (giggity) to 61. So defense doesn't necessarily win championships, but then again neither do the San Francisco 49ers of this decade. Or whatever.

Seek out your AFL playoffs - you won't regret it. And with nothing else on, it's either that or episodes of "John from Cincinnati" on HBO On Demand. And alien football is better than surfing aliens any day of the week.

Note: the tags are all in caps, thus negating the "excessive use of WordCombinationUsingCapitalLetters" tag I so awesomely came up with. Just so you know. more...

Baseball's Summer Blockbusters and Bombs Part 1

It is officially one of the two slowest sports days of the summer (Wednesday will be worse, promise), so let's take the time allotted by the sports gods to compare 2007 MLB teams by division to movies released this summer.

A.L. East

1st place -- Boston Red Sox

I haven't seen a better team so far this summer; they're solid top to bottom. They have a strong Japanese influence and sit atop the standings on July 9th.

The Red Sox are...



Transformers


2nd place -- Toronto Blue Jays

You probably haven't seen them, but they speak well of Canada.

The Blue Jays are...



Sicko


3rd place -- New York Yankees

Sure, they have an All-Star lineup, but this act is starting to get a bit tired. Thanks to past success they still make tons of money, but so far they have been a massive disappointment on the field.

The Yankees are...



Spiderman 3


4th place -- Baltimore Orioles

One big name and some up and coming talent... but in the end this team is still pretty bad. I don't really have any interest in ever watching them play.

The Orioles are...



Mr. Brooks


5th place -- Tampa Bay Devil Rays

This team flat-out sucks. Noone goes to see them and not without good reason. Their biggest star has had numerous legal run-ins and the rest of the cast is not much to look at.

The Devil Rays are...



Georgia Rule more...

The Morning After on TSE - 7.9.2007

We're almost two weeks clear of the 2007 NBA Draft and the NBA's summer league has begun with some interesting results. Well, interesting is probably too strong of a word. The NBA is boring enough (just ask any Nielsen family about the 2007 Finals) but now we're talking about exhibition basketball with minor league rosters and it's getting covered like the Superbowl. And I get this: the draft was big business for television's sake and the players in the draft currently are very newsworthy (though ESPN doesn't think any of them are Now) and so it makes sense that the coverage has been pretty in depth so far. It just bores me to tears, is all.

Apropos of nothing else, let's look in at some of the feature players from the 2007 draft class and see how these younglings are adjusting to life in the NBA (summer league).

Greg Oden (#1 pick)

Former Ohio State center and would be season POY, NCAA tournament MOP and still the #1 pick had he stayed for another year (though I'm not bitter...and I love that picture) had an auspicious start to his NBA (summer league) career. In his first 20 minutes wearing that Trail Blazers jersey, Oden managed to score six points and two boards, eventually taking a seat with foul trouble. And by foul trouble, I mean he fouled out, something that is rather tough to do in the NBA (summer league) where 10 fouls get you a front row seat on the bench. This is not characteristic of Oden, who played very intelligently in high school and college when fouls became an issue but that, I guess Oden left that sense in the same place he left all the checks from OSU boosters: back in Columbus (see? I can make Ohio State jokes, too.)

Kevin Durant (#2)

18 points is not bad. 5-17 shooting, 1 board and no assists is bad. The former Texas standout was praised during the season and throughout the draft for his ability not only to elevate his game above the field, but also to get others involved in the action. The single rebound and poor shooting barely elevate squat. And the fact that I have more dimes in my pocket than he had in the game (ZING!) means he that he wasn't helping out too much, either.

Marco Belinelli (#18)

Now you're saying that this space should be saved for a higher pick or at least a name that people outside of the NBA might know, but young Marco turned in the performance of the summer so far. The Warriors 1st rounder had 37 points on 14-20 shooting, 5-7 from the arch. Belinelli's night was the second best turned in in NBA (summer league) history behind Keith Bogans's 38 point night in 2004. Oh yeah: unlike the first two picks in the draft, #18's team actually came away with the "W". So he's got that going for him...which is nice. more...