Monday, April 14, 2008

TMA on TSE - You're the Immelman now, Dawg!

Good morning. Not really. It's Monday morning and those are never particularly good in any situation. You could have gone to bed Sunday after banging a Perfect 10 model, a la Eric in Entourage and still hit that before going to work the next morning and it would still suck. Perhaps less than if you went to bed after, say, reading back issues of SI and masturbating, but that's neither here nor there.

I guess there is one way that a Monday morning might be tolerable. Were you to wake up with a 42-R green jacket on your person, then Monday probably sucks a lot less. That's what Trevor Immelman probably did this morning. I bet he's have a bang up fucking day.

The South African (gooooooooooooo Apartheid!) was your winner yesterday at Augusta, despite some of his best efforts (in the drink on 16 with a five-shot lead? What are you doing aiming for the pin, dickhead?!?), besting Tiger Woods by three strokes. Admittedly, it was a boring final 18 on my favorite tract in the world, but you really can't blame Immelman for that. He gave away plenty of shots and chances on the day but no one could really do anything with the opportunities. Not even the aforementioned Mr. Woods. The flatstick, like donuts for Mickelson, whiskey for Daly and the lump three feet above his ass for Sabatini, was persona non grata for Tiger, who managed to shoot an uninspiring 72.

In this day an age of golf, the story after all non-Tiger wins in majors is not about who won, but how Tiger lost. And certainly, that's a fair statement. If Tiger makes a putt or two from outside five-feet, the pressure would have been on the Immelman. Maybe he folds like every other South African to challenge Augusta in recent years (see: Els, Goosen, Clark and Sabatini). Or maybe he doesn't. But it would have been fun to see regardless.

That was not the case, however, and Immelman won the Masters walking away. He outplayed the field and did what he had to do to put on that green jacket. And he deserves all the credit in the world for it. Winning the Masters will elude exponentially more players than it will embrace so credit is certainly due and should be given.

But for the second year in a row, we will likely not chase a golfer around the country (and the Old Empire) chasing the Grand Slam because the year's Masters winner is another "one of the best up and coming golfers we've seen in a long time" who probably won't win another major in their career.

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