David Stern refuses to entertain you

So Bill Simmons started this sports podcast called, "Eye of the Sports Guy" soon supposedly to be renamed, "The BS Report." Whatever. I am in the Bill Simmons camp, and I am well aware that he is one of the more polarizing writers that exists: people either love him or hate him. I have entertained the first few of these podcasts. One was good (with Adam Corolla) one was OK (with Marv Albert) two were horrendous (Paul Shirley and some dude from Real World/Road Rules). Thursday, he will be interviewing David Stern. I am looking forward to it, and so is ESPN, as long as YOU BEHAVE YOURSELF! That's right, in Simmons most recent column, it offers us the fans a chance to ask Stern a question:

...If you would like to ask the commish a question--and please, no joke questions-- send us an e-mail...

I am assuming that Simmons was not responsible for this disclaimer being there, because if he did put that up, it would be a total slap in the face to his fans. It's like the dad who passes gas on the couch when you're watching a ballgame, but flips shit at you if you fart at Grandpa's. Simmons encourages humor all the time in his columns and chats, but now he's asking us to show restraint with the commissioner? If he did this, I'll be furious.

Let's pretend he didn't, which in all likelihood is the case. I now have some issues with ESPN. First, what kind of standard does ESPN.com hold it's readers to, more specifically, readers of Simmons, that they think need to act like our mothers before we spend a weekend at our Aunt's house?

Second, I understand Stern is somewhat of a more "honorable" guest on this podcast and ESPN had to pull some stings to get it. Do you not think that Simmons would respect that? He is the one talking to Stern! Do you really think that if I submitted a question that said "Hey Simmons, find out if Stern knows if Quntel Woods and Mike Vick are [homeys]." Do you think he would ask the commish that question? Honestly? Simmons would probably appreciate the humor in what is set up to be a very dry conversation.

Third, if they are so concerned with the questions, why entertain them in the first place? Simmons has already done four podcasts without questions from his fans, so whats the point in adding them if you are so incredibly concerned with the question's content?

Fourth, who is ESPN to assume that David Stern, the man who imposed a ridiculous dress code and inexplicably changed a perfectly good basketball, doesn't have a sense of humor?

I'm looking forward to the podcast, specifically if Simmons has the guts to ask him about his proposed changes to the NBA playoffs (which would actually make sense) as opposed to what he probably will do, and bitch about the Celtics not getting Durant or Oden. I just hope this podcast doesn't turn into Lt. Kaffee's line of questioning to Col. Jessup before he takes the drink of water.