Ms. Watson, Ms. Cabrera, you needn't stand next to the 18th green on Sunday. Elin will take it from here.

First two rounds of our Open is in the books, and I have some sad news for people who think anyone other than Tiger is going to win this tournament. Tiger is going to win the tournament. Him, or Jim Furyk. These are some fun nights for the Bubba Watson's and the Angel Cabrera's of the world, but, let's be honest, these guys will fold on moving day quicker than the suit Kopech's parents bought him for Easter when he was 12. Tiger's wife will be waiting for him on the 18th, unless she is busy sending the winner of the 2030 US Open at Oakmont down the ol' birth canal. Tiger is five back, Furyk is six back, and those are my two favorites to win, in that order. Here are a few other guys to keep an eye on:

Paul Casey- Anybody capable of firing a 66 can win this tournament. Anytime you can fire a 66 in a Major Championship, you are on top of your game. When you can do it at a US Open when there have only been four scores under par in two days? Well, he has arrived, at least this week. Here's something to keep an eye on: Day one, Casey averaged 310 yards on his drives, but only hit 7/14 fairways. Day two, he took 30 yards off of his average drive, but was in the short stuff an astounding 13 out of 14 times. He has figured out how to play this course, and he could contend down the stretch.

David Toms- For the first time in a while, his putter isn't betraying him. He has putt 30 times in both of the first two rounds. That's pretty even keel for anyone, especially Toms. He has been plagued in recent years with his inability to putt confidently, which has really messed with his head. He has all the talent to contend this weekend, and if his shortstick can remain steady, it could be a great Sunday night on the Bayou.

Chad Campbell- When he's on, he is hands down the best ball striker in the field. I know people bandy anout that term a lot, but watching him play in person, there aren't a lot of moving parts to his swing. He is this generation's Freddy Couples, minus the monster power fade. If he can just keep at it, this could be the best weekend of his life.

Freddy Funk (Dark Horse, and who I'm pulling for)- It's a long shot, but there is a reason this guy made the cut at 51 and some of the big guns didn't: he can get it in the fairway. He's only missed seven fairways in the first two rounds, and of those seven holes, he bogeyed all of them. If his putting comes around and he can keep it in the fairway, he might give hope to all of those weekend golfers whose sons are closing in on them another reason to go back out there and kick the young whipper-snappers butts.

That being said, I'll still go with the experience of Tiger and Furyk this weekend, just because they have that killer instinct and have won the trophy before. If not, expect some of these guys listed to contend for the championship. But, I can almost guarantee you that Cabrera and Bubba Watson will crash and burn tomorrow, even though it would be a great story to see the first Argentine win the US Open.

(GOCM: I'm calling shenanigans on this post's ending. No way in hell Jed would EVER give two shits about the Argentine people, played by Madonna or otherwise. Very funny, James. And the suit wasn't foldable it was machine washable. Fucktard.)