100 Things I Hate About You
Let's face it: ESPN does a lot of stuff to piss you off. It insults your intelligence, it favors screaming analysts over game highlights and reports, it puts certain NFL 'insiders' on screen... you know. But have you ever sat down and thought about all the crap ESPN does that just drives you crazy? Well I did.
Nota Bene: These 100 items have all occurred/appeared in since the start of the 2006 College Football season. We could be here forever if we chronicled all of the past albatrosses of ESPN like Stump the Schwab, Trev Alberts, Dream Job and ESPN Hollywood.
ESPN Motion | Stuart Scott |
Skip Bayless | First Take |
Stephen A. Smith | Chris Berman’s nicknames |
Chris Berman doing play-by-play | John Kruk |
The Coors Light Cold Hard Facts Six-Pack | Red Sox-Yankees Coverage |
ESPN Deportes on SportsCenter | Who’s Now? |
Mark May | Lou Holtz |
Len Pasquarelli | John Clayton |
Sean Salisbury | Censoring Bill Simmons |
ESPN on ABC | The Fantastic Four to Watch |
Jeff Van Gundy | Mark Jackson |
Roger Cossack | NASCAR Now |
Baseball Tonight (Post-Reynolds) | Doris Burke |
NBA Fastbreak | NFL Live |
Dee Brown | Tim Legler |
The Budeweiser Hot Seat | Pam Ward |
Chris Spielman | Jim Donnan |
ESPNU-exclusive broadcasts | Rachel Nichols always wears black |
Not enough Erin Andrews | AFL on ESPN |
Monday Night Football commercials that tell you what day it is | Steve Phillips |
Bob Davie | ESPN Insider |
Overt Disney Synergy during SportsCenter | Arli$$ on ESPN Classic |
Woody Paige | Women’s College Basketball Selection Show |
Jay Mariotti | Jon Barry |
Dick Vitale (sometimes) | Shelley Smith |
Desmond Howard | The ESPN/USA Today Coaches Poll(s) and other conflicts of interest |
The Finals in Harmony (seriously, what the hell is that?) | The ESPYs |
Around the Horn | Colin Cowherd |
Pedro Gomez | The Terrell Owens/Barry Bonds/etc Beats |
Scoop Jackson | ESPN 360 |
Any other non-Simmons Page 2 writers since Ralph Wiley passed away | ESPN Full Circle |
The declining visibility of Peter Gammons | WNBA highlights at any time |
MLB Draft televised | The Best of Mike & Mike |
NFL Sunday Countdown | EA Sports NFL Matchup |
The SportsCenter reSET | Women’s College Basketball that doesn’t involve Pat Summitt or Geno Auriemma |
SportsCenter anchors chiming in on eachothers’ highlights | Bill Walton |
Joe Theismann | The SportsCenter Minute |
Mary Carillo | ESPN.com Travel |
4 Downs | The Big Ten-ACC Challenge |
The ban on “underground” sites | Dana Jacobsen |
Diamond Cutters | Fact or Fiction |
Jacked Up! | Joe Lunardi prior to the conference tournaments |
Bad Puns in SportsCenter graphics | Fernando Vina |
ESPN the Weekend | Chasing Aaron every night on the Bottom Line |
Greg Anthony | Fact or Fiction |
Countdowns appearing in the Bottom Line (ie, Monday Night Football) | Orestes Estrada |
Top Ten Nominees | Kara Lawson |
Take Your Pick | AFL highlights on SportsCenter |
“You’re A Fan, You Just Don’t Know It Yet” promos | Anchors that try to emulate Kilborn, Olbermann and Eisen |
Not enough Bob Ley | Jeremy Schaap |
As you can see, these mostly fall into four categories: Personalities who suck, shows that suck, corporate whoring and useless segments that take time away from actual sports highlights on SportsCenter. The fact that most of these gripes can be easily categorized means that, in theory, they can easily be fixed. Right, Norby?
3 comments:
and that's straight off the block sick nasty stupid stuff. hugs and hand pounds. I'm mentally chalenged.
/stuart scott
Please advise how I can remove ESPN360 from my 'puter. Tks from Dalian, PR China
You left out the Ultimate Highlight, Brian Kenney and the My Wish, 50 states in 50 days and every other good idea that they run and run until you can't standto watch anymore.
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