A Huge National Practical Joke?

I swear to all things good and pure: I just don't see it. I don't get it. I don't understand.

How, how, HOW are the Boston Celtics going from literally the worst team in the Eastern Conference to a consensus conference favorite amongst national media analysts? I know, I know, "Seaward, they traded for KG!"

Overrated acquisition? No. Overrated team? Yes.

So?

Everyone has taken great glee in ripping the Eastern Conference from pillar to post after the Cleveland Cavaliers won the East with LeBron +4 and were summarily dumped by a vastly superior Spurs team. "Hey, if all you have to do is be better than Cleveland, anyone can win this conference," has been the mantra of every NBA analyst, GM, player and fan this offseason. Easy enough to say, but does this trade accomplish this end? No.

For starters (no pun intended, just wait), let's look at the Celtics' projected lineup:

• PG - Rajon Rondo
• SG - Ray Allen
• SF - Paul Pierce
• PF - Kevin Garnett
• C - Brian Scalabrine
• Bench - Kendrick Perkins, Glen Davis, Tony Allen, Leon Powe, Gabe Pruitt, Brandon Wallace

Yes, the middle of that starting lineup is frightening. It truly is. The rest of the lineup, though? Are you freaking kidding me? This roster doesn't even have the depth to field a full starting five, much less a reasonable 8-man rotation. And yet... this team is all of the sudden the team to beat in the East in the eyes of all these NBA pundits?

I think someone is pulling a prank on me.

Has everyone forgotten who is steering this ship? How severe is this case of national situational amnesia that everyone failed to notice that Doc Rivers is still the head coach of this team? The same Doc Rivers with a career 273-312 record (8-14 in the Eastern Conference playoffs)? Coaching is very important in this league and say what you want about Mike Brown, he installed a defensive system involving his role players on the Cavs that worked perfectly in the East. Do you think Doc Rivers can do that? Can Doc Rivers out-coach anyone in playoff contention in the East? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Even taking a giant leap and granting that Doc won't screw this up, will a big three with an average age of 31 be able to succeed in a conference that is getting rapidly younger? Can the 31 year olds run with superstars in their early and mid-20s like LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Dwight Howard? Well, let's ask the New Jersey Nets... nope. (FWIW- I'm not convinced that Boston's big 3 is better than New Jersey's big 3.)

The way I see it, the Celtics are now a playoff team... but are they a conference contender? No. No, no, no, a thousand times NO. As I see it right now they are anywhere between a 6 and 8 seed in the east. Take a look:

• 1- Cleveland -- Give the defending conference champs their due with a 1 seed
• 2- Miami -- Fully healthy Wade + breathing Shaq = Southeast title
• 3- New Jersey -- The original Big 3 adds Jamal Magloire at the 5
  
• 4- Chicago -- Talented young core keeps getting better
  
• 5- Detroit -- Getting older but are still a major player thanks to depth
  
• 6- Orlando -- Dwight Howard welcomes Rashard Lewis
• 7- Boston -- Lots of star power with no depth still gets you in the playoffs
  
• 8- Toronto -- Talented young team took a big step in 06-07

Coaching, depth and age... can the Celtics overcome all of these shortcomings and win the weak Eastern Conference?

No. more...

Sports Elitists NBA Finals Game 3 Preview: Spurs @ Cavs

For whatever reason (laziness? spite? disinterest?) I'll be handling the Finals preview for tonight's game 3 in Cleveland. Quite a bit of history visits everyone's favorite lakeside town tonight, as the Finals make their first to Northeast Ohio ever. It's the first time the city has even hosted a championship game or series since the 1997 World Series (and we know how that went) so it's buzzing up in C-town tonight, I'd expect. Rachel Nichols said, during her report, the following:

"[who cares what she said, I'd plow that until next July] ticket scalpers are reporting prices upwards of $15,000 per ticket [seriously I could barely focus on anything above her neck]"

Anyway, Rachel Nichols is a babe. And there is excitement in Cleveland for this game. After all, the King reminded us that they have been down in an 0-2 hole before in these playoffs. But the Detroit series might as well have been played months ago. Things are incredibly different now and the effort needed to win that series pales in comparison to what a comeback will take in these series. That said, here are some questions pertaining to tonight's game and the rest of the series, WWL-style!

Will You Be Watching When...Larry Hughes triples his output in this series with a 3 pt - 8 reb - 3 asst line?

Larry Hughes's averages this series: 1 pt- 2.5 reb - 1 asst. Ouch. The Spurs are a very good team but those aren't even D-League numbers. Those are me in any pick-up game numbers. This is beyond "he needs a wake-up call", this is "pray for Larry!" It is unacceptable and makes the star of the team, LeYouKnowWho, have to work that much harder. I really don't sympathize for what what Hughes is going to go through after this postseason but it will certainly be fun to watch.

Will You Be Watching When...The Cavs go all Utah on the Spurs and win tonight?

Very good possibility that we could have this similarity tonight in Cleveland. The Q gets loud when important things are happening and tonight is no exception. The Spurs probably aren't on cruise control but winning like they've won leaves room for the Cavs to come out hot and dangerous. The Jazz did it in the West Finals so don't be surprised if it happens tonight, too.

Will You Be Watching When...LeBron's back finally breaks from carrying his team?

This is an unfortunate double-edged sword for the Cavs this playoff season. When LeBron is the basketball God that he was in Game 5 of the East Finals, no one else wearing wine and gold wanted the ball and you can't blame them. But when LeBron has gone under 20 (or just over 20, as in Game 2 of the Finals) and "everyone else" has to try and win the game, the results have been several shades of terrible. In these playoffs, LeBron has to play well enough win the games himself, but he also has to get his teammates in the games so he doesn't wear out in the third quarter and he has to be the team's leader on top of anything else. Accomplishing those tasks is doable for a player like Tim Duncan, when he has Tony Parker on the court with him and Manu Ginobili is coming off the pine to help. With this Cavs team, it's just too difficult to accomplish all three.

Will You Be Watching When...The Cavs win two in Cleveland, lose in six and are the first NBA Finals participant to absolutely need a shakeup in the off-season?

James, Gibson, Pavlovic, Varejao. These names will be on the back of Cavs jerseys next year. As for everyone else? Fair game. This team needs what they thought they were getting in Larry Hughes, and they're getting that from Daniel Gibson. Pavlovic is a player on this team and without James, this team doesn't make it out of Cleveland, much less to the NBA Finals. But the greater concern is finding someone to complement Varejao down low. Z is 10 years into his career and not getting any younger so Varejao must step into that role now and a competent 4/5 guy to go with him would do wonders. But these concerns are still two losses away, so let's not get too antsy.

Game 3 is tonight in Cleveland. Will You Be Watching When...it comes on ABC at 8:30pm? Judging by the ratings for games 1 and 2, survey says..........................................no.

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Are you truly a Cleveland Sports fan?

Well, here we go. The first time a team from Cleveland has been involved in a Championship Series since 1997. Is that what this means? That every ten years we have to be ready as a fanbase to support our teams in the Championships? Personally, I would rather see the Cavs get swept than have to deal with what happened to the Indians in '97. If Larry Hughes proves to be the 2007 version of the 1997 Joe Table, I will not be a happy human being. That being said, it's a new decade, and another chance for the city with the best fans in the United States to end thier championship drought.

First of all, let's get something abundantly clear. There are bandwagon Cavs fans, then there are those, like myself and Paul Teeple who when you say "Wilkens" we think Gerald, not Dominique. We remember when in the Cavs pre-game show, Mark Price would teach us how to shoot free throws by "finding the nail" on the free throw stripe. We remember seing Mark Price in an Orlando Magic uniform and hating it almost as much as when Carlos Baerga was playing for the Mets. I'm not saying that these fans that are Lebron lovers aren't welcome to root for the Cavs, but I don't remember them being at the GUND Arena watching Ricky Davis and Darius Miles lead the team to a 17 win season. These bandwagonners have no idea of the sense of irony having David Wesley on the team, probably couldn't pick Chris Mills out of a lineup of one, and have no idea when Sports Illustrated called Terrell Brandon the besat point guard in the game (it was just before we traded him to Minnesota). Paul referenced Joe Tait eariler this week, and I can remember listening to his classic lines that accompanied every Cavs radio broadcast.

My generation (ages 20-28) of Cleveland sports fans has had it the worst. Sure, the older crowd vivdly remembers the heartbreak of "Red Right 88", the Broncos AFC Championship games, and "The Shot." At least they had that! This generation of Cleveland fans has had the 1995 World Series. This is one of the most underrated heartbreak moments in Cleveland Sports History. Here's three reasons why:

1. The perennial bridesmaid team, the Atlanta Braves, finally got their ring. A team that should have won at least three in the 90's settles for one. Against Us. They knew they were going to win, and they just toyed with us. Like when Greg Maddux in Game Three threw at Eddie Murray just to start something. The greatest quote was afterward when someone asked Orel Hershiser if he thought Maddux threw at Murray on purpose: "he's the best pitcher in the game. He could throw a baseball into a teacup."

2. David Justice, in the middle of the series, said that the Atlanta Braves fans sucked. That the team couldn't get motivated to play at Fulton County stadium, and that the Indians fans were so much better. He ended hitting the winning home run in Game 6 that gave the Braves their ring, amidst the boos he was hearing because the Braves fans took exception to what he had said. Funny how that ball going over the right feild wall changed their opinion of him. Oh, and also? We couldn't touch Glavine that night from what I remember. I think we had maybe two baserunners.

3. The off-season following the 1995 WS, who did we sign?

True story. You cannot make this stuff up. But don;t worry, we would eventually trade him to the Yankees for Ricky Ledee. RICKY LEDEE.

That was one of our biggest heartbreaks. This generation of Cleveland fan has lived through our prime rooting years without the Browns, not the years they were in the AFC Championship back to back years. Our hearts have been broken by the Indians twice not in the ALCS, but in the big dance. This generation of Cleveland fan has had a worse childhood than those older than us. We hold a special place for ourselves and each other when it comes to Cleveland loyalty. We, as children, could have very easily become Chicago Bull, Pittsburgh Steeler, or New York Yankee fans. We didn't, we stuck it out, and lived through more heartache as kids than any other generation of Cleveland fans.

Now, just because you might be around my age, that doesn't mean you're lumped into this group, although the invitation is open, if you can remember these things:

-- Most people think Jason Grimsley is a heel for his involvement with steroids. He will always be a legend in Cleveland for going into the Umpire's locker room and stealing Albert Belle's alleged corked bat. Fans of my generation can still see Albert Belle pointing to his bicep and saying that was the power, not the cork. He was never the same after that.

-- The Cleveland Cavaliers drafting Vitaly Potopenko and Z in the same 1996 draft, 8 picks apart. Three of the guys taken in between? Kobe, Steve Nash, Jermaine O' Neal. Sweet Moses.

--The Cleveland Cavaliers drafting Andre Miller and Trajan Langdon in the same 1999 draft, three picks apart. Two of the guys taken in between? Shawn Marion, Jason Terry. [Expletive deleted]

--After the 1997 World Series, the Expos and the Tribe were about to pull the trigger on a Jaret Wright- Jim Thome for Pedro Martinez deal. We didn't do it. It's ok, though, because in the next off-season Pedro signed with the Red Sox just in time to dominate the Indians in the 1999 ALDS, and win a World Series with them in 2004. That ALDS also was the series where we had to watch over and over again Kenny Lofton dive into first base and separate his shoulder on top of Pedro's domination, on top of Paul Shuey's inability to throw Troy O'leary anything but a belt-high fastball with the bases loaded.

-- Sandy Alomar's UNREAL 1997 Season: 146 hits, 37, doubles, 21 HRs and 83 RBI. All career highs. Also won the 97' All- Star Game MVP, and wore some sick nasty catcher's gear that night, leaving little league catchers all over North East Ohio clamoring for the Red, White, and Blue chest protector.

-- The 1995 Cleveland Indians Batting Order:

1. CF- Kenny Lofton

2. SS- Omar Vizquel

3. 2B- Carlos Baerga

4. LF- Albert Belle

5. DH-Eddie Murray

6. 3B- Jim Thome

7. RF- Manny Ramirez

8. 1B- Paul Sorrento

9. C- Sandy Alomar

That lineup was sick. Manny being Manny, batting Seventh. The good with the bad mixed into this short list, there is more, there are so many more. But these are just some of the moments, just some of the memories of the fans that will be screaming the loudest when the Cavs finally bring a Championship to the fans that deserve it the most.

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I'm Happy

In case you lot haven't figured it out here on The Sports Elitists just yet, I am a huge, life-long, die-hard Cleveland Cavaliers fan. As such, it's still kind of hard for me to describe what this city is feeling--even nearly 24 hours later--after the Cavs crowned the Pistons 98-82 and advanced to their first ever NBA Finals to face the San Antonio Spurs. As such, you can probably look for a more all-encompassing summation of the series tomorrow, but for now I will tell you that there are a few people that I am just thrilled to death for, aside from all of my fellow Cavs fans everywhere. Here they are, in the order of how happy I am for them:

	Joe Tait is just awesome

1- Joe Tait. The legendary Cleveland play-by-play man finally has a championship series to call. After enduring decades of C-Town mediocrity and being behind the mic for Michael Jordan's gut-wrenching masterpiece known as "The Shot," Joe quite possibly deserves this more than anyone. For all the Cleveland fans reading this, I don't even have to tell you... but for the rest of you out there, you should know this: Joe Tait is arguably the best announcer, radio or TV, in the entire NBA. His calls are always crisp and entertaining and he never gets too bogged down in superfluous nonsense or hyperbole. He does the games solo, save for time-out interaction with studio host Mike Snyder, and never misses anything important on the court. He is clearly unimpressed with celebrity or the modern trappings of the NBA. My favorite Joe Tait moment ever occurred last season when the Cavs were playing the Heat and after a TV timeout Tait says, "As we await the return to live action, Damon Jones will inbound the ball out of the timeout. Right now, though, he seems to be talking to a young lady at courtside. What'd you say her name was, Mike? Beyonce? Hmm. Anyway Jones inbounds to LeBron, over the time line..." That's right, Beyonce, Joe Tait doesn't give a rats ass about you or your music. God, Joe is awesome. I hope the Cavs win the title just so that HE gets a ring! If you listen to a little taste of Joe's call from the 4th quarter of Game 6, you'll know what I mean.

	You deserve this, big man.

2- Zydrunas Ilgauskas. This is Z's 10th year with the Cavaliers and he's been through the wars with the orange & blue/wine & gold. I mean, you name it: the awful late-90's jerseys, Shawn Kemp, his nagging foot injuries, rock bottom in 02-03, the '03 Lottery and now all the way to the NBA Finals--Z has seen it all here. And that's just speaking about basketball; especially this season he's had a rough go of it off the court as well. It was not for nothing that the first person LeBron hugged after the final horn sounded was Big Z. It was a special gesture that I think everyone in Cleveland understood. There may not be a player in Cleveland that deserves a championship, save for LeBron, more than Zydrunas Ilgauskas.

	I'm not kidding you, it's a virtual planetoid! It's got its own weather systems!

3- Mike Brown. That's right, I said it, Mike Brown. All season and all playoffs Mike Brown has been slagged up and down by the fans and the media for every single shortcoming on the Cavaliers, some of it rightfully so. But if you're going to assign all the blame for the bad to Coach Mike, you better be ready to heap on the praise for the good as well. Brown's defensive schemes completely frustrated the Pistons, effectively shutting down Chauncey Billups for the first half of the series and completely neutralizing Tayshaun Prince. To put it another way, the Pistons did not suck independently, despite what they may have said during the series. No, the Pistons sucked because the Cavs defense made them suck. Even in the games Detroit won, their offense sucked. That is all down to The Coach With The Huge Noggin. That's right, Cavs fans, Coach Mike was a huge reason the Cavs beat the Pistons. more...