Minor Masterpiece

I was excited when I drove into work today, which is odd because it's Monday, the first day of a five-day work week. But there was a story that I had been following for a few weeks now and it finally culminated last night in Ottawa, of all places. The story is about a 25-year old Columbus Clipper (International League, AAA-affiliate of the Washington Nationals, which, as I've remarked previously, is a tad redundant) named Brandon Watson, who hit safely in his 43rd straight game last night, a 9-8 loss against the Ottawa Lynx. 43 may seem like an arbitrary number but in the IL, it has been the gold standard 95 years. The last time a player hit in that many consecutive games was 1912, by long Jack Lelivelt, who played in the IL for the Rochester Hustlers.

The major league record, as we're all aware, is 56-games set in 1941 by Joe DiMaggio who, coincidentally, holds the Pacific Coast League (PCL) record at 61 games. The all-time minor league record is an astounding 69 (chuckles) game streak hit in 1919 by Joe Wilhoit in the Western League. So Mr. Watson does have some distance to travel before the big comparisons can be made to these big streaks, but think about this for a second: it took 95 years for someone to hit in one extra game and get to 43 consecutive. The only other player in the IL that is close was Bill Sweeney in 1935 with a 36-game streak. In 95 years, only one other player has come within 5 games of the record before Watson broke it yesterday. That's pretty astounding stuff.

Naturally the major media outlets are going nuts over this (the 11-line AP blurb SI.com has is just wonderful and the hometown Columbus Dispatch also covered it) but I think it deserves more credit than it is getting. And on a slow news day, breaking a 95-year old record is absolutely worth mentioning, if not celebrating.

Congrats to Columbus Clipper Brandon Watson. Keep up the good work.

(GOCM: Dan Shanoff mentioned this first, so I'll give him credit for the scoop. Which is pathetic, since I live in Columbus and the Clippers hardly keep the attention of the fans in the stadium, never mind anyone outside of our sordid little burgh.)

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The Morning After on TSE - 100th Post Edition.

So this is the 100th post (you have to dig way deeper than blogger lets you check) and there's no better way to celebrate than by doing...pretty much exactly what we've been doing. So that's your programming note for today. Also, Jed's full of shit - check the bottom of his "Ms. Watson, Ms. Cabrera..." post. Now to The Morning After.

Angel Cabrera, your favorite portly Argentine, is your champion over the weekend at the 107th United State Open. It was, all in all, a lackluster day for the golfers but Cabrera, who went ahead and shot a +2 over the last three holes (and who can blame him?), staved off the likes of Jim Furyk and Tiger Woods to claim his championship. The highlight for me was watching Paul's pick, Aaron "Badds" Baddeley on the first hole. Because if I were up three strokes on Tiger on Sunday in a Major Championship then the first thing on my list of things to do is triple the first hole. Yes, that is the plan. Lure Tiger in then snatch him in a bear trap and win the major.

Naturally that didn't happen and Badds had a pretty "Badd" day (see what I did there) and shot 80 en route to a "who cares" finish.

But here's my question, and stay with me here. Jack Nicklaus won 18 Major Championships in his playing career, a mark I think Tiger Woods will likely break in the next 10 or 15 years (and anyone who says 15 years is too long, look at what happened on Sunday, when everyone assumed, myself included, that it was Tiger's to lose...the field is starting to catch up). In 8 of Jack's 18 championships, he did something Tiger Woods has yet to do: come back on Sunday. Tiger Woods may be the best closer of his generation, but Jack is the greatest closer of all time. If Tiger doesn't have the 54-hole lead at a Major, it's getting close to a guarantee that he and Steve won't be hugging and crying on 18. It will happen eventually, but for now Tiger is Oh-fer his career.

The other stat about Nicklaus is almost as daunting. He has been the runner-up in Major Championships 19 times. 19! You figure he shaves five strokes off of those 19 Sunday rounds and Jack could have had 22+ majors, a mark that's so much more untouchable than his 18 it's astounding.

Anyway, there's a little food for your golf thoughts this morning. With no golf worth covering, no basketball worth watching (though the same could be said about the Finals) and NFL training camps months away, it's going to be a pretty lean couple of weeks for everyone. But look at it this way: maybe ESPN will show that Jeremy Schapp piece (that sounded wrong) about Bobby Fischer a couple of times. That would be great. more...

3AM Fun with Google Image Search: Tim Hasslebeck

Hey, who else blogs for you at 3AM? Nobody but TSE, that's who. I am bored and still awake, waiting for Larry King Live to come on at 3AM (the guest is Al Pacino). And I was thinking: how much does Tim Hasselbeck's life suck? He has a wife that goes on TV everyday and makes a damn fool of herself, and he is an NFL quarterback, but still isn't the greatest active quarterback at his Thanksgiving dinner table. Pathetic. Then, I decided to Google Image him, so that I could have a picture of him... to tell the story. Boy, did I luck out. The first picture:

Buddy. You are an NFL quarterback and you can't get a picture of your own as your first pick. What a freaking disgrace. But just wait, it gets better. Second picture:

Dude, this is a picture of Jason Sehorn and Sam Waterston's daughter! You sir, are nowhere to be found in this picture. If someone had no idea who you were and they google imaged you, they would think you are either you, or Jason Sehorn. You need to go on a drug binge or something, tackle Eli Manning during a game, do SOMETHING so that the second picture of you on google images isn't someone else. Third pic:

Chief. This is your wife, your daughter, and YOUR BROTHER. Do you see what this picture is insinuating? You are not even a big enough name to be recognized for giving life to another human being. The fourth pic can't be any worse, can it?

Someone put this guy on suicide watch.

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Ms. Watson, Ms. Cabrera, you needn't stand next to the 18th green on Sunday. Elin will take it from here.

First two rounds of our Open is in the books, and I have some sad news for people who think anyone other than Tiger is going to win this tournament. Tiger is going to win the tournament. Him, or Jim Furyk. These are some fun nights for the Bubba Watson's and the Angel Cabrera's of the world, but, let's be honest, these guys will fold on moving day quicker than the suit Kopech's parents bought him for Easter when he was 12. Tiger's wife will be waiting for him on the 18th, unless she is busy sending the winner of the 2030 US Open at Oakmont down the ol' birth canal. Tiger is five back, Furyk is six back, and those are my two favorites to win, in that order. Here are a few other guys to keep an eye on:

Paul Casey- Anybody capable of firing a 66 can win this tournament. Anytime you can fire a 66 in a Major Championship, you are on top of your game. When you can do it at a US Open when there have only been four scores under par in two days? Well, he has arrived, at least this week. Here's something to keep an eye on: Day one, Casey averaged 310 yards on his drives, but only hit 7/14 fairways. Day two, he took 30 yards off of his average drive, but was in the short stuff an astounding 13 out of 14 times. He has figured out how to play this course, and he could contend down the stretch.

David Toms- For the first time in a while, his putter isn't betraying him. He has putt 30 times in both of the first two rounds. That's pretty even keel for anyone, especially Toms. He has been plagued in recent years with his inability to putt confidently, which has really messed with his head. He has all the talent to contend this weekend, and if his shortstick can remain steady, it could be a great Sunday night on the Bayou.

Chad Campbell- When he's on, he is hands down the best ball striker in the field. I know people bandy anout that term a lot, but watching him play in person, there aren't a lot of moving parts to his swing. He is this generation's Freddy Couples, minus the monster power fade. If he can just keep at it, this could be the best weekend of his life.

Freddy Funk (Dark Horse, and who I'm pulling for)- It's a long shot, but there is a reason this guy made the cut at 51 and some of the big guns didn't: he can get it in the fairway. He's only missed seven fairways in the first two rounds, and of those seven holes, he bogeyed all of them. If his putting comes around and he can keep it in the fairway, he might give hope to all of those weekend golfers whose sons are closing in on them another reason to go back out there and kick the young whipper-snappers butts.

That being said, I'll still go with the experience of Tiger and Furyk this weekend, just because they have that killer instinct and have won the trophy before. If not, expect some of these guys listed to contend for the championship. But, I can almost guarantee you that Cabrera and Bubba Watson will crash and burn tomorrow, even though it would be a great story to see the first Argentine win the US Open.

(GOCM: I'm calling shenanigans on this post's ending. No way in hell Jed would EVER give two shits about the Argentine people, played by Madonna or otherwise. Very funny, James. And the suit wasn't foldable it was machine washable. Fucktard.)

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Update: 2007 US Open Update: Round 2

Update: Angel Cabrera is unimpressed with your pithy little Oakmont course. He's your leader as we aproach the allmighty 5:00pm (when I finally get to go home). Stephen Ames and David Toms are also having splendid rounds today. Everyone else is falling apart right now and the cut is still at +10, but with scores going up, it's looking like Tits McLephty may yet play golf this weekend...Tiger is +2 on his round today but still lurking in the tall grass, waiting to trample and disembowel whomever remains (read: he's still probably going to win this whole thing on Saturday and Sunday, as so many prognosticators have...um...prognosticated).

*

Sean O'Hair has some serious running to do. Currently, through 17 holes of "golf" he's en route to a gentleman's 80. 80. That's a large number, among several on the board today. Here's your leaderboard (as of posting) and some other notable rounds that didn't put it in my fantasy golf league pooper. (Full, updating leaderboard here)

1. Nick Dougherty - E (+2 today, through 7)
1. Ben Curtis - E (-1, 5)
1. Niclas Fasth - E (-1, 2)
4. Bubba Watson - +1 (+1, 8)
4. Pablo Martin - +1 (E, 5)
4. El Tigre - +1 (E, 5)
4. David Toms - +1 (-1, 4)
38. Jim Furyk - +6 (F)
61. Zach Johnson - +8 (+2, 6)

The Cut is looking like +10 right now, which means the following players can probably go ahead and buy some Pirates tickets for the weekend.

Phil Mickelson (+11 at least he hasn't gone off of any man-made structures yet.), Stewart Cink (+12), Sean O'effhimself (+13), Adam Scott (+18!!!), Jacob Rogers (+28, low man on the totem pole).

Tiger's within striking distance (my least favorite golf metaphor), which could spell trouble for everybody else. And what the hell is (Ostrander, OH native) Ben Curtis doing on page 1 of another major? I would have put dollars to donuts he would be fighting for a card in Q-school by now. One of these weeks, I'm going to pick him and he's going to go ahead and fall in a ditch, drown in a creek, get attacked by a barracuda and then dragged off by a mountain lion. That's the kind of power I have in jinxing golfers for my fantasy league. more...

Curt Schilling - Pitcher by Day, Blogger by Night!

I'm a Red Sox fan and, let's face it, without Curt Schilling there probably wouldn't have been a 2004 World Series Championship. And I think Curt's Pitch for ALS is a really great charitable endeavour (please don't sue me now). But his approach to the media leaves plenty to be desired, especially his addition to this, the ol' blogosphere.

After getting Schelled (zinger) by the humble Rockies in his last start, let's see what #38 has to say to his adoring fans. Also, this is not a response to Boston Globe fucktard Dan Shaughnessey's (I don't care if I misspelled his name) article about 38pitches.com, but a parody of Schilling and his blog. Danny boy can go piss up a rope.

38 Pitches
Curt Schilling's Official Blog

6/13/2007 Vs. Colorado
June 14th by Curt Schilling

Hmmm. This was a truly puzzling start. I mean, I figured after I go one batter away from throwing my first career no-no that that no one would even swing the bat this time around. But I was way off. Everyone got a hit off me. Even the pitcher, and we were playing AT FENWAY! Not my best night...

Things are getting far too interesting in the AL East nowadays. I mean we used to have this 14 game lead over someone other than the Yankees but now our lead is down lower than President Bush's approval rating (but I'm still voting for him!) and they can't lose.

I think that if more people took my approach to the Yankees, they would not be able to win as much as they do. Like I said during the 2001, everything about the Aura and Mystique of Yankee Stadium is complete garbage - in fact I thought those were exotic dancers (that quote still kills me, even now). So why is it that people can't just listen to me and read my blog? Then they'll know exactly how to win at "The Stadium". Major League ballplayers can be trying sometimes...

Just as an aside, I'm not a fan of exotic dancing, in fact, I think that the proprietors of said clubs should probably seek help for themselves and for their patrons. There are so many better things to do.

But as for the start, I don't know where to begin (start and begin - great wordplay by me...certainly better than anything I pitched with 2 outs). I couldn't get anyone out when I had to and they scored a lot of runs with 2 gone in the inning. That kills my defense and it sunk our team. The home run that Hawpe hit pretty much did it for us. 'Tek came up after trying to calm me down and said, "anything hit that far should have a goddamn stewardess on it". I think he's still pissed that I shook him off last week.

Well, that'll do it for today. OH! A quick plug...I'm on Facebook.com now* trying to spread the good word about Curt's Pitch for ALS so everyone friend me. But can we please tone down the poking? That's getting annoying.


*(GOCM: yes I'm aware that the facebook thing is fake)

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The Morning After on TSE - 6.15.2007

Judd Apatow must be a Cavs fan (poor bastard).

After I tried to watch a quarter of the Cavs/Spurs "game" I gave up and finally saw "Knocked Up". Outstanding. Funnier than a Spurs sweep, a now soul-crushingly close 7.5 game lead in the AL East and the trash can begging me to take Seth Rogen's advice and yack my hangover away. And funnier than "Old School" and "Anchorman", but still behind "40 Year Old Virgin", which I realize I'll take some flack for, but every guy has a different order for these four movies (five if you add Dodgeball, which I don't). If you haven't seen it, stop reading this, go see it and come back, otherwise this won't make any sense.

After the movie got out, I started thinking about how LeBron no longer has to deal with a knocked up girlfriend. I also thought about Seth Rogen's friends and LeBron's supporting cast who, it seems, are eerily similar. Allow me to go into detail.

Ben (Seth Rogen) = LeBron James (this should makes sense even if you didn't see it)

Jay (Jay Baruchel) = Larry Hughes (he's always there, always annoying and easily forgetable...and probably couldn't hit a jumper if he wanted to)

Barry (Jonah Hill) = Anderson Varejao (good for a one-liner and is a genuinely funny character but could have been a lot better if used more effectively)

Jason (Jason Segel) = Daniel Gibson (quietly, this newcomer goes ahead and steals whatever of the show isn't taken up by the likes of Ben (LeBron) and you can tell he's just itching for a bigger role)

Martin (Martin Starr) = Drew Gooden (no other reason than both of them have a hairstyle (ever seen the vertebrae toupee* on Gooden?) that must be the result of a bet or a lost bet).

*Jed's

As you can see, it's a slow day already. US Open update, retrospective on the Cavs, breaking news and maybe even a visit from friend Curt Schilling all today on the TSE. Enjoy.

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