Side effects of ESPN Motion may include...

Oh, ESPN Motion, sometimes I think you're worse for the internet than pop-up ads and Rosie O'Donnell's blog combined.

And that's when I am being generous.

Seriously... I just can't stand ESPN.com's ESPN Motion feature. I think this is something we can all agree on.

Recently, I'd honestly thought that ESPN Motion had been vanquished, especially in light of Deadspin's article over the summer announcing the impending demise of the accursed auto-play video contraption. Every time I'd load the Four-Letter Word's website I'd not be getting bombarded with Stu Scott telling me about the SportsCenter minute. I was elated.

As I found out today, however, something far more sinister was afoot. My roommate filled me in on the latest strike against ESPN Motion at lunch today:

"I bolted awake at exactly 3 a.m. I had checked ESPN.com for the Blackhawks' score right before I went to sleep [at 10 p.m.]. Motion apparently just decided to kick on some five hours later. I thought they'd gotten rid of it!"

See, that's what they want you to think! It's all a part of Norby's diabolical scheme to enslave us with ESPN propaganda while we sleep! (It's worth pointing out that my roommate's computer is a laptop he bought earlier this year, it's not like a Gateway 2000 laptop from the 90's or anything)

In all seriousness, though... Rob King, if you really are going to get rid of ESPN Motion, just freaking do it. I don't know one person who likes it, and putting in some sort of extended delay could obviously cause new and different issues with your reader base.

They're lucky it wasn't me. If ESPN Motion had woken me up at 3 a.m. I would've gone apeshit.